Oh Dreaded Night!
by distinct complicity
Summary: Remarkably, there were people who want to befriend Remus Lupin. Will he let them or will he just chase them away? Full of humor, angst, and sweetness (but mostly angst). COMPLETE.
1. Chapter One

**Disclaimer**: J.K. Rowling's books/characters, but my story.

**Spoilers**: 3rd book and beyond, I suppose?

**Rating**: PG-13 for violence and language and… angst.

**Pairings**: This story focuses more on friendship than pairings.

**Genre**: General/Angst. I really didn't know how to categorize this, but this will have to do unless there's another suggestion.

**Notes**:I wrote this about a year ago, and I'm just going back to revise it. Taking out the awkward stuff and all that... it was my first piece of HP fan fiction, though, so it has a special place in my heart. :)

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They were whispering to one another. It was the two of them, seated in front of him. He couldn't hear what it was that they were talking about, of course, but the moment they both turned around to catch a glimpse of him, he knew. They had to be whispering about him. No doubt they had heard one rumor or another. It wasn't that he had any more rumors going around about himself than anyone else did, it was just that something about what they were saying might be true. Remus lowered his head to give them the impression that he wasn't paying any attention to them, but he couldn't help but look back, either. As soon as he had started to raise his head, they quickly turned around and quit their secretive conversation.

He wasn't really sure if he should consider James or Sirius his friends. Even though they shared the same room, the two weren't really tight with him. Sure they exchanged a few words/formalities each day, it was hard to when living in the same quarters, but James and Sirius were much more concerned about talking to each other rather than include him in certain conversations. (Especially mischief making and girls: two subjects that he often found himself blushing about. He didn't blame them, really. After all, who would want to see him blushing that often, especially when that was all they seemed to talk about?) But, they trusted him enough not to go gossiping their words throughout the rest of the school. He swore that sometimes they allowed him to hear certain things on purpose, as it would provoke him in some way to speak up. Mostly, he would pretend to be too wrapped up in a book to be interested in such conversations, but it was only pretending that he was doing. Really, he could almost see himself joining the boys on their late night escapes from the bedroom or on the floor just below his bed scheming their newest prank or ogling girls from the same or upper classes. He felt rather left out at times. He fought the temptation off, though. Close friends meant hiding secrets and that would be even more difficult to do to himself. It was hard enough explaining his whereabouts every month. (Did they figure out yet that it was always at the time of the full moon?) He deducted that friendship wasn't worth it, after all, and remained the quiet one.

It was like this every day, though. He avoided eye contact with just about everyone. Keeping it up after the first year wasn't much more difficult since people had a certain understanding not go bothering him anymore. Still, James and Sirius never gave up, nor did they every right out ask him to be their friend. Well, that's not what people did these days anyway, was it? What would he really feel if someone were to go up to him and ask, "Be my friend?" He supposed that his heart might just melt right there and then. The idea tickled him, really. He smiled and giggled softly. He turned to make sure that no one had witnessed his reaction and from what he could see, the only person to make contact with him was Lily Evans. She smiled and waved to him. He smiled back, but quickly, and returned to staring at the table.

Peter soon joined him at the table, as it was his habit of doing every day. He supposed it was because there was no one else to sit next to. Maybe there was, but Peter seemed too embarrassed to sit with anyone else. They never talked much, though. Sometimes they would help each other with their assignments, but that was the extent of their time together.

"Hello, Remus."

"Hello there." The moment he spoke up, James and Sirius turned around again.

Sirius took a good look at him, thinking who knows what, and asked, "You two leavin' for Quidditch soon?"

"As soon as it's announced, I s'pose." Peter mumbled.

"We're thinking about heading there a bit earlier," James chimed in, and watched them carefully for an answer.

"Really!" Peter burst, smiling. "Yeah, that would be great! Remus?"

"Sure, I mean…. it would be good to get outdoors for a bit longer anyway. Lovely day out, and all." He almost immediately felt embarrassed for his long answer, a simple yes would have sufficed, and he felt a rush of heat to his cheeks. He looked at the two in front of him and then to Peter, who seemed more than thrilled to be seen with two of the more popular boys of their class.

"It's settled, then. Pack up yer books, mates! We'll stop by our room to drop off our things and then we'll head out to the field!" Remus gathered his things as quickly as he could and stood up. He let James and Sirius take the lead out of the library and into the dormitory, with Peter and himself traveling not too far behind.

He figured that this was the first time after his first year at Hogwarts that he had followed a group so closely. He couldn't help but feel as nervous about this as if he was embarking on something almost as terrifying and wonderful as his first year at Hogwarts. He let a smile come over his face. It was the only thing that was keeping him from gasping out in excitement.

They entered the Gryffindor common room after James boasted the password to the fat lady's painting. Soon after they had crossed into their room he cracked what he thought to be a funny joke.

"Heh. The fat lady is so fat… that she can't jump to conclusions." Sirius and Peter snickered. He couldn't help but smirk at the joke himself, even if it was mean-spirited.

"Oh yeah? Well… the fat lady's so fat that when she steps on a scale it reads 'One at a time, please!'" Sirius guffawed.

"Ha! That's a good one!" Peter exclaimed.

"You have any good ones, Pettigrew?" Sirius asked, waiting for the rest to be finished so they could head out to the game.

"I don't know. I'm not as quick with a joke as you two are." He laughed.

"How 'bout yerself, Lupin? Know any good fat jokes?" Remus shook his head, but Sirius didn't seem to mind much. Sirius seemed to be happy with the jokes that he and James had just told. Remus found himself staring at Sirius admiringly, and hopefully unseen, but snapped out of it as soon as James rushed over to join his friend. "Ready then?" Sirius winked.

They were heading through the common room once more when Peter shouted happily, "Oh! Oh! I know one! I've got a GOOD one! Ha! The fat lady is so fat that when she sits around the house she sits…. AROUND the house!" Anyone who heard that joke couldn't help but laugh at it, even if it wasn't particularly funny. Seeing Peter in good spirits was enough to make one smile.

Crossing through the painting again, into the hallway, Remus felt that it was his turn to let out a joke. Perhaps that was what was needed to break the ice a bit. Besides, they needed some entertainment before the staircase came up towards their landing once more. And he had it… a perfectly clever one. "The fat lady is so fat," he began, as everyone watched, "that when Christopher Columbus sailed from Spain she was found floating in the ocean and he claimed HER as the New World!"

It took a moment, but soon the boys were hysterical. "Oh, Remus! That was so clever! That's the best one yet!" Peter jumped.

"Yeah! Good one, Lupin!" Sirius agreed. "Didn't know you had quite the sense of humor."

He smiled at Sirius' comment, but wanted to argue that he did, in fact, have quite the sense of humor… maybe even better than the average bloke. The quiet ones usually did; the ones that spent a lot of time inside their minds. You just have to catch them at the right moment, he wanted to say, or give them a chance to speak and then you'd see. He wasn't so bold as to say that just yet. He waited alongside Peter for what seemed like an extraordinary amount of time to be waiting for the steps to situate. When they finally did, the four rushed down the staircase and through the corridors that would finally lead them to the outdoors and most importantly, the Quidditch field.

It almost felt natural with these three. He couldn't help but feel that they had been friends for the longest time and would remain so, for always. Wouldn't that be wonderful? I have someone to talk to when he was feeling lonely? But how could he possibly feel lonely now?

A bad thought entered his mind. It was only a week before the full moon. Oh, that dreaded night! Why was he not used to it by now? How come he had not come to terms with what he was?

His thoughts were interrupted by a howl. He looked over to see where it was coming from and was surprise to see Sirius' head looking up to the sky, letting out a ferocious howl. He wasn't sure whether he was being mocked, so he stopped in his tracks.

James noticed the delay and shouted, "C'mon, Lupin! Don't be too frightened of Sirius. He likes howling before a match. Merlin knows why!"

"Yeah, I'm a bit crazy like that!" Sirius slowed to walk aside him. He could feel Sirius pat him on the back. He didn't know how to react to the touch, only to stiffen for a moment and then continue to walk on with the rest of them, despite the howl. "Thing is," he whispered, "I am positively crazy for Quidditch! I get so excited that I have to howl. Ever just feel the need to howl, Lupin?" His eyes widened.

"Geez, Sirius! Let off the man! Of course he's not some loony who howls, like you. He's a bit more reserved. Nothing wrong with that." James took the other side of him and smiled. He felt a little less anxious now that he was beside him and not just Sirius. "I happen to think it's a good thing that Lupin and Pettigrew came along with us. That way, they can balance out our craziness… especially yours!"

"Crazy! I don't know what yer talking about." With that said, he let out another howl and raced ahead.

"Hum, like I said, don't mind him. He's just a big show off. He suggested that you two come along, though. I agreed to it, of course, because we have been meaning to spend some time with you two. You seem like you're easy to get along with. Pettigrew, too. I just hope you don't mind us. We're easy to get along with too, I think! Heh. As long as you're not Snape!" Remus laughed. He had notice the riff between the two and Snape. He didn't know where it stemmed from, but then again, Snape was a very disagreeable person. He couldn't help but think, though, that Snape was somewhat misunderstood like himself but had an awfully funny way of showing it. "You, uh… don't associate with, do you? I apologize for your sake, if you do, but I can't help it if I think he's a sniveling…"

"Ha! First ones here! I love being the first one to arrive. That means we get the best seats!" Sirius was already climbing the steps to Gryffindor's seating area. James, upon parting, tapped Remus on the back in a display of understanding and rushed to catch up with Sirius.

Peter was taking his time climbing, though. It made Remus glad to see that he wasn't left behind. "Er, Lupin, what do you think?"'

"Of what? Of them?" He pointed up to the energetic boys climbing the steps. "I think they're positively…"

"No, no! Of who's going to win the match! Personally, I think it's going to be Ravenclaw. They've got the best seeker yet!"

"Oh, you think?" He was hoping that Peter would continue with his table about the team, as he was afraid to admit that he wasn't much a follower of Quidditch as the rest of them.

"Oh, yeah! Did you happen to see the last match? Positively brilliant! He must have above average eyesight and the fastest broom on the market! He catches that snitch before the team even gets the chance to see them, it seems!"

"Right, right."

"I mean, I know I'm supposed to support my house's team, but I can't help but think that Ravenclaw has got it this year."

"Ravenclaw!" Sirius shouted. "Are you mad, Pettigrew?"

"Yeah, really!" James responded.

"I just think that their seeker is…" Peter stopped his sentence, looking upset that he had disagreed with his new found friends.

"Ah, well, you've got the right to think about what you think… even if you're wrong! Dead wrong!" Sirius laughed along with James. "Gryffindor will win it in the end! I'm positive they will. In fact, I'm so positive that I'd be willing to bet anything on it!"

"Anything?" Peter squeaked.

"Yes, anything. Care to make a wager?"

"All right." Peter smiled. "Whoever is wrong has to… do the other's homework for a month! And I can't wait to not have any homework to do for a month!" He clapped and jumped up and down.

"Wait, wait," James chimed in. "I also think Gryffindor will win it. Can't I place a bet?"

"All right. I mean, I'm that sure." Peter said, with much courage. "Care to wager, Remus?"

"No, no. It's all right."

"Are you sure? I mean, don't you think it would be nice to have no assignments for an entire month?" James' eyes widened.

"Oh, that would be excellent. The thing is, I'm not keen on betting."

"Suit yourself." James sneered. "All right then, we'll see at the end of the season, won't we?"

"I look forward to it!" Peter sneered right back.

"Huff. Enough about that! I certainly hope that Ravenclaw wins over Slytherin today, that's for sure. If there's anything I can't stand, it's Slytherin winning a match. They're intolerable after a win." James seemed to be foaming at the mouth with hatred for the other house.

"Can't be blamed for thinking that, James!" Peter sat down next to Sirius. "I hate Slytherins with all my might, I do!"

"Ha! You should get along just fine with us, then, Pettigrew. Just fine." Sirius patted him on the back in the same friendly matter as he had done with Remus before. He waved to Remus, "Take a seat here, Lupin. Don't you think these are great seats? We try to get them for every match. And if it so happens that someone is in our seats, we boot them out!" Lupin winced at the comment. From what little conversation he has had with them, it seemed they weren't a force to be reckoned with. He wasn't sure, though, if this was a good or bad thing. Good because if they were truly his friends they would stick up for him in times of need and bad because… well, it did look as if they could mess him up pretty well if they were his enemy. All he really had to do was take a look at Snape and see…

"Oh bugger! People are starting to arrive already. Wouldn't it be something if we could watch the match, just us four, and not have to stare across the field at Snape and that awful sour puss on his face? I mean, does the boy enjoy anything at all? Anything?" James looked out toward the now empty Slytherin seats.

"He enjoys a swift kick to the bum, he does!" Sirius said excitedly, kicking into the air and howling.

James laughed. "What do you think, Lupin?" What do you think Severus Snape enjoys most?"

"Well, it's so hard to tell with that smile he has on his face all the time." Lupin said, feeling the sarcasm seeping out of his words. He imagined that what Snape would most enjoy is seeing James and Sirius tossed out of Hogwarts and the Wizard community entirely, but he dared not say. The three laughed at his initial comment, and he thought he might roll on with the sarcasm. "I imagine he enjoys keeping away from the shower most, since that's what he's so good at."

"Whooooaaa hooooohoooo!" Sirius yelped. "Brilliant! You're a mad genius, you are, Lupin! Right on target!" There was a wicked smile upon Sirius' face and Remus found it quite contagious. The grin that he felt come upon his face was like none other he felt before. Positively wicked. It felt really good, now, didn't it?

There wasn't anything that had changed about the game of Quidditch to make it seem any more remarkable to him. If it wasn't for the other three he sitting with, he might have stared off into the distance during the match, and that was if he even bothered to show up at all. Seeing James, Sirius, and Peter excited was enough to make him feel the same excitement. He found himself cheering when he would otherwise cringe at the loud crowd and reversibly, booed along with his friends whenever Slytherin would score or play unfairly (which they were apt to do). Peter had given him and the other boys a Ravenclaw flag to hold and wave for a while. James cringed when he first held the flag, but soon he was waving it along as happily as the other did whenever Ravenclaw was doing well. Sirius still went about his howling. Although it still made Lupin extremely uncomfortable, he felt the urge to howl, himself. He couldn't, though. He couldn't bring himself to make a similar noise that the monster he turned into every month did. Even if it wasn't exactly the same, it was close enough and more than enough to make him feel nervous and ill.

At one point during the match, when things seemed at it's happiest, Remus couldn't help but feel a tug of insecurities. Especially now that it seemed Sirius and James didn't mind him or Peter around. That would mean that they might be concerned when he went away during his spell under the full moon. They would want to know! And who could possibly accept that? Who could possibly accept that as just a character flaw? Imagine their faces if they found out… They'd make sure he was harassed. He just knew they would. They'd probably want to kick them out of their dormitory and possibly out of the school. Possibly even out of their existence! Such was his luck, it seemed.

He saw, from the corner of his eye, that Sirius had stopped his cheering and was no doubt wondering why Remus wasn't participating in the happiness since he was right now starting at him. It was only for a moment that Sirius stopped his cheering, maybe he hadn't noticed after all. Sirius had to be too involved in the match to care about what Remus was thing. If he had been concerned, would he have even asked? Sirius seemed too cool to care about anyone else, never mind the boy who was too concerned about having friends that he couldn't even enjoy having said friends. He took another moment before cheering as loudly as he had been before and wiped from his eye the tear that was about ready to fall. Luckily, Sirius had not witnessed that. Surely he would be made fun of crying, if caught, at a Quidditch game.

The game ended quickly. As Peter had mentioned, Ravenclaw's seeker had caught the Golden Snitch faster than anyone could imagine. The boys all showed Peter some respect for his call, even if it was just for a short time. After that, James made it a point to show his support for his own team, Gryffindor, by screaming down to the players below that Gryffindor was the best and that they should not celebrate just yet.

"Well, they shouldn't!" James felt the need to explain himself. "If anything, they should be concerned about their strategies for when we play them next."

"As far as I'm concerned, they don't need a strategy as long as they have that seeker." Peter chimed in.

"Hum, as long as they have that seeker, right?" James nudged Sirius in a way that made Peter nervous. Sirius chuckled in response and led the group out of the seats.

Peter whispered into Remus' ear, "You don't suppose they'll do anything to…"

"Naw, they're trouble makers, but not cheats. I think they're just trying to get you nervous, Peter."

"Well, they're doing a good job!" Peter exclaimed.

"Who's doin' a good job, Peter?" Sirius shouted up from halfway down the staircase.

"The Ravenclaw team!" Peter shouted, and added in extra loud, "What a great match! Right Remus?"

"Right! Just… brilliant." Remus sighed.

Sirius and James waited for the two to catch up with them at the bottom of the steps. "You up to staying out a bit later? I'm not looking forward to going back inside just yet." Sirius asked.

"I don't want to get back just yet, either. I'll stick around." Peter responded.

"I… I should get back. I'm behind on homework, as it is, for this weekend." Remus stated. It was a lie, but it was something he thought they might be able to relate to. Although he wanted to stick around to see what Sirius would be up to next, the same thought made him realize that maybe he _didn't_ want to.

"I hear that!" James agreed. "I'll join ya, then, Lupin." It wasn't what Remus was hoping for. He had counted on some time alone. He should have known that by mentioning homework, James would respond. James was just as serious about his studies as he was his pranks.

"Eh, party poopers! Peter and I will enjoy this crisp autumn air while you two are stuck in those stuffy rooms up there. Oh, oh, I see… you'd like some time alone together." Sirius threw his chin out to show his disapproval.

"Well, don't go asking me for the assignments then, when it's three in the morning and just hours before class!" James retorted.

"Why would I ask for your work anyway?" Sirius spat.

"Um, I don't know…. maybe because I'm one of the top students of the class!"

"As am I! And Lupin over there, don't forget! You're not the only smart one in the group." Peter hung his head at Sirius' comment, but Sirius didn't seem to notice. "Besides, all work and no play make Potter a dull boy!"

James stomped off angrily, looking as if he didn't care if anyone followed him. Remus did follow James, leaving Sirius and Peter behind. As if James had known he was behind him the entire time he turned to Remus and said, "That Sirius! Ho! He thinks he's better than everyone else, I reckon. I s'pose it's because of his family and upbringing. That's the only thing I can attribute it to. What a spoiled brat!" Remus kept quiet as James went on. "He always does his assignment last minute! I mean, it's all right to do once in a while, but it's every weekend he does this. Then he comes nudging at my shoulder at three o'clock in the morning, when I'm asleep, no less, asking me what we were supposed to do over the weekend. Really, I hope he fails each of the assignments he hands in. Half-arsed job and all! He might not care about his grades, but I do." James huffed up the steps as if he were doing heavy exercises. "I know you care about your grades too, Lupin! So, you know what I mean, right? It's not just homework, ya know? It's application to our studies and if you want to become a wizard that is somewhat above average, you need to apply yourself. I don't know what sort of wizard he's going to grow up to be if he continues this. You need to keep a healthy balance… between work and play… to be successful and happy. That's no secret!"

The two boys were in front of the fat lady's painting in no time, it seemed. All of James rants seemed to make the walk back to their room seem quicker. James barked out the password quickly and moved on to enter, but the painting did not open.

"C'mon now! I said the password!"

"Oh NO! I'm not letting you two in!" The fat lady huffed.

"Why's that, now? I've said the correct password! Now let me in my house!"

"Humph. I don't let people in who have NO consideration for others feelings."

"What ARE you going on about?" James turned red, probably more out of confusion than anger.

"I heard them all!" The fat lady sniffed. "Those… jokes… about… me! I heard every one of them! Mistaken of the New World? She jeered at Remus. "New World indeed! You're going to have to find a NEW HOUSE to SIT AROUND because…. I'M NOT LETTING YOU IN!"

"Doesn't this beat all?" James panicked. The situation, when looked at from any other perspective could have been seen as funny. Really, all the boys wanted to do was get into their room, but the overdramatic painting would have nothing of the sort.

Remus stepped up to the painting. "I'm sorry, miss… I didn't… WE didn't realize you had heard us. They weren't meant to be serious."

"'Weren't meant to be serious'? Maybe not, but you sure found it funny, boy! Didn't you?"

Come to think of it, actually, Remus had been torn about the whole situation, but explaining this to her now wouldn't help at all. Besides, he couldn't admit in front of James how long it took to build up the courage in the first place to tell that one joke.

"What's going on, now?" Sirius' voice could be heard coming up the steps.

"When did YOU get here?" James growled, still visibly upset.

"Just now. Figured homework wasn't such a bad idea, either." Sirius said, softly. "But what is this madness?"

"Fat lady here isn't letting us in!" James said, but out of the painting's hearing.

"Not letting us in?" Sirius lifted his head to the painting, now fuming. "Now you listen here! We have the right to be in that dormitory! Just as you have the right to… be a painting or what ever it is that you do!"

"I think I shall have a new password made! One that the four of you wouldn't have the privilege of knowing! What a pity, since all your belongings are in there."

"Listen to me, lady! I will get into that dormitory if it's the last thing I do! This is an outrage!" Sirius pulled his wand out of his cloak in a threatening matter.

"Wait! Sirius!" Remus shouted, which surprised the three, including the lady in the picture. "There's no need to resort to violence. I'm sure that the lady of the painting will listen to reason… as she's a very reasonable… painting. Er, not to mention, one of the more attractive paintings in this hall."

He looked up to the lady to find her smiling, but she cut her smile short. "What reasoning to you have, then?"

"Well, it's just that your attractiveness is so…. large…. clearly whomever painted you had beauty AND intelligence in mind. I think we're rather jealous of the purpose that went into your painting. Surely, none of us could think of something so…. grand. Perhaps the jealous came out in the form of humor, as it's so apt to do these days."

He looked to James and Sirius, who in turn gave him a look as if they didn't believe that they could pull it off. Peter was on the verge of tears, most likely too excited and anxious from all the arguing going on before they even reached the painting.

"You have a point, boy." She looked Remus over. "I'm sure that people as plain as yourselves would never be able to appreciate my beauty."

"You're right. It's completely true. Do you accept our apology, now that you know our mindset?"

She frowned for a moment, considering what she might do. Then, without a word, she opened the passage to the Gryffindor common room. The four of them let out exhausted sighs of relief and hurried in, lest the fat lady change her mind.

Sirius waited until they reached their bedroom and then exclaimed, "Lupin! You didn't let on to be such a sneak! By Merlin, I thought I might just burst when you acknowledged her 'attractiveness' as 'large'!" The other two boys laughed, releasing their tension.

"Right on, Lupin! That was genius. Thank goodness you were around," James sighed as he flopped down on his bed.

"Yes, we'd still be out there!" Peter exclaimed, still seeming a bit panicky.

"Surely, none of us could think of anything as… grand!" Sirius repeated Remus' own words and broke out into a fit of laughter on James' bed, nearly knocking James over.

Not knowing what else to do, Remus say at the edge of his bed and reached over for the piece of chocolate he left on his nightstand earlier. As he broke a piece off for himself, the other three boys stared hungrily. He offered each of them a piece, which they each took, and then sat back down on his bed, attempting to calm himself.


	2. Chapter Two

Whenever the 21st of October was mentioned, Remus grew anxious. No matter how many times he checked his chart of lunar phases, the full moon would point at that date. He checked the charts often, in hope that by magic there would be no full moon that month. He checked the charts for the following months and all the months after that, as far as the next century but each month revealed the same thing: a full moon. However long he was destined to live, he was destined to meet the full moon each month. He wondered if there would ever come a time that he wouldn't have to cling to his lunar charts with the hope that the full moon wouldn't arrive that month. He wondered if he would ever look forward to not being himself -- even if at this moment he didn't particularly like himself.

"You have to tutor me in Astronomy some time, Remus!" Peter exclaimed. "You're so far ahead of everyone else in the class. You must like it a lot, reading that book all the time." Peter watched him close his book and smile politely.

"Sure. Just let me know when you need any help."

"Thanks! Maybe when I don't feel so swamped with all this homework." Peter frowned.

Trying to keep his thoughts away from calendars and charts and lunar phases, he remembered the bet Peter hand made with James and Sirius the day before yesterday. He wished for his poor friend that Ravenclaw would come out winning the Quidditch final. Having the regular load of homework was more than enough for Peter. No, more than enough for anyone at Hogwarts -- even second years like themselves. Having to do the homework of two more students on top of one's own was nearly a death sentence. Would the other two be so cruel as to inflict such a punishment for a lost bet? The more he thought about it, the more it seemed to him that Peter shouldn't have suggested the idea in the first place and that he should get what he deserved for placing such a ridiculous bet. But it seemed that James and Sirius were likely to take advantage of the situation without giving it so much as a second thought. All in all, he remained satisfied that he didn't make such a bet. He didn't trust anyone with his homework, anyway. He was in the clear. Isn't that all he should be concerned with? Not that two of his friends might be taking advantage of another?

He sighed and took out his quill and parchment and began an essay for his Transfiguration class. He wrote "21 October 1972" as the date -- so much for forgetting that date for the moment -- and quickly scratched it out to replace it with the actual date: "16 October 1972" 16 October, 3 days after the first quarter, 5 days to the full moon, 12 days to last quarter, 21 days to new moon. He could give off the dates for the different phases in his sleep as easy as he could recite his times tables or any other easy mathematic formula he memorized. He wouldn't let it get in the way of his homework, though. Werewolf or not, he was obligated to turn in his assignments like all the rest of the students.

He noticed that, especially in his first year at Hogwarts, his teachers had cut him slack around the time of the full moon. They gave no hint of feeling sorry for him, but sometimes he couldn't help but feel that maybe they did. Really, he didn't know what they thought of him or what they said about him to each other. Obviously, they tolerated it, as they let him inside their class. Dumbledore tolerated his condition as well. The new headmaster was the only reason he was allowed to be admitted into Hogwarts. He wasn't too sure if this was a good thing or not. Would it not be better for him, instead, to live a life away from the public? Away from normal wizards? Perhaps there was a school for freaks and outcasts such as himself that his parents had overlooked? He was tempted to write to them first thing tomorrow to see if they would be willing to do some research for him.

He might miss his classes and his new found friends, but really, it was better in the long run to either be with his own or be completely alone. Perhaps his parents would send him off to a faraway land and lock him in the highest tower of an abandoned castle -- not unlike princesses in fairytales -- so he could wallow in his misery alone and not harm anyone.

"Did you being the essay for Transfiguration class yet, Remus?" Peter asked.

"I'm just about to start it."

"Oh. Just wondering." There was a pause and then he continued, "What do you think of that class?"

"Pretty decent. Hands-on, which I like."

"I know! It's much better than reading out of a textbook for the entire period. It's difficult, though."

"At times."

"What do you think Sirius and James are up to?" Peter asked nervously from his bed.

"I'm not sure. I haven't seen them." He hadn't seen them since dinner. Hadn't really given a thought about their whereabouts up until now. It was getting late, though, and they were fixing to get in trouble if they didn't return to their dormitory soon. There was little time left until the halls were meant to be cleared of all students.

"Do you reckon we should look for them?" Peter glanced at the clock.

"I..." Normally he wouldn't give it any thought. He would not leave his room so close to curfew, but the thought of Peter getting any more nervous than he already was was enough to get him out of bed and at least go downstairs to the library and surrounding halls to look for the two. "Yes. We'll search for a few minutes and if they don't turn up, we'll return here. No use in all of us being caught after curfew. If they're wandering the halls, they're likely to be caught by Filch, don't you think?"

"Right." Peter agreed and waited for Remus to make the first move out of the room.

The crowd in the Gryffindor common room was finally breaking up, he noticed. One of the older boys questioned what they were doing leaving their area, but neither of the two answered him in fear of being questioned even further. Besides, they weren't prefect or Head Boy. That meant it was none of his business, as far as Remus was concerned. Although, really, Remus wanted to tell someone that James and Sirius weren't back yet. He'd get laughed at for sure. Those two were known for mischief and breaking rules. The fact that he was on the look out for the troublemakers was enough to send his anxiety level soaring.

Peter on his tail wasn't helping the matter any, either. At any creak in the floor, Peter would moan in fear and creep even closer to him. It wasn't that Peter was scared that annoyed him -- he had the right to be especially with Filch on rounds -- but the fact that he was so close that he was almost touching him was unnerving. No one else besides his parents had dared to get that close to him. He had the thought of shooing Peter away but that might make matters worse.

"W-Where do you think they are?"

"I don't know!" Remus grumbled from the side of his lips. "Maybe we should... keep quiet?"

"Right!" Peter exclaimed. "Er, right." He whispered.

They made their way down the stairs and headed towards the library. He didn't know why he'd check there first, the likelihood of either of them being in the library was very slim, but that would be one of the few places they would be permitted to be at this time if they did not have detention.

"They could have detention." He said just loud enough for Peter to hear.

"I don't..." Peter quieted, "I don't think so. Do you recall anyone giving them detention?"

"Well, put it this way: when don't they have it?"

"True. But I know for certain they didn't have it tonight." Peter whined.

"I didn't think so." They entered the library and took a quick look around. No James or Sirius to be found, only a few lingering students. Mostly, older students deep in study or deep in other things. He passed over a girl and boy smiling and playing footsies under the table. "C'mon, they're not in here." Remus said, frustrated. "I have a good mind to turn around and go back to our dorm!"

"NO! Please, let's look around for just a few more minutes. I have a bad feeling. They don't have detention and well, they didn't let me know of any pranks they were up to... and they're never shy about that. I'm thinking that they might be in trouble."

"Do they usually tell you of their pranks?"

"Well, not all the time but as I said they're not so secretive of them, either. They talk about them openly in the dorm and even in the dining hall."

Peter was right. They were rather open about their pranks and mischief. He couldn't even count how many times he overheard them about this or that. He racked his brain to see if he could come up with any clues that they were up to something, but nothing came to mind. Maybe they really were in trouble at some random, abandoned part of the castle with no one to know where they were. Remus couldn't live with himself if he found that they were harmed in any way and he did nothing to locate them. Perhaps Peter felt the same and that was why he tried to bring up conversation back in the dorm. It wasn't his homework that he was overly concerned with, it was his new friends that was troubling his friends. So, this was what having friends was like. He looked at Peter, meaning to smile, but decided to keep a straight and concerned expression on his face.

All of a sudden, he didn't mind that Peter had grabbed his jumped as they approached a turn in the hallway. Just as he lifted his finger to his mouth to indicate silence, he heard a voice from around the corner.

"_Expelliarmus_!"

"Damn you, Snape!" He recognized the second voice as that of James.

Peter gasped, and again, Lupin lifted his finger to his lips. He crept to the corner of the hall and held out his hand to stop Peter from stepping any further. He peeked around the wall and saw a very angry Snape holding out his want out to James' and Sirius' face. Their wands had been expelled from their hands and onto the ground nearby.

"Hum..." Snape mused, stroking his chin as if he had a beard. "What shall I turn you pathetic losers into? Something slimy, I think!"

"That's more along your personality, Snivellus!" Sirius spat. Snape seemed to be extremely angered by the "Snivellus" remark and clutched his wand even tighter. He moved closer in on the two unarmed boys.

"I think you're on to something, Black! Perhaps you're not fit enough to be an amphibian." Snape's eyes were wide. Remus could smell fear on all three boys, but Snape's was the greatest. James and Sirius might be bold enough to jump at Snape, but Snape was readied with his wand. What he would actually do with the wand was anyone's guess, but Remus didn't want to wait and find out. He removed his own wand from his cloak, held the wand out, pointed at Snape and shouted, "_Expelliarmus_!"

Snape's wand was flung from his tight grasp. He didn't even have the chance to see who cast he spell. James and Sirius didn't waste a second to look either. They rushed at the boy with all their might and pushed him against the wall. It was only when Snape sunk to the ground, defeated, that they looked over to Remus and Peter. Peter had at some point crept up to him, seeing that he was no longer in danger.

"Lupin!" Sirius exclaimed. The two relieved boys stood in their place, waiting for Peter and Remus to reach them. "That was brilliant!"

"Yeah, thanks. I wasn't sure if Snape actually had the courage to go through with it at first, but towards the end there he looked very determined to turn us into frogs." James added. He turned to retrieve the two expelled wands and stopped when he noticed the third, Snape's. " I think we should take this with us as well. What do you think?"

"Ha!" Sirius laughed. "Definitely. He won't think of it until it's too late." He grinned evilly.

"Oh! I'm so glad you two are okay!" Peter spoke up. "I knew something was up. Thank goodness we came looking for you!"

"Good thing." Sirius agreed, but proudly added, "Although, I think we could have handled this waste here." He kicked at Snape's foot. The boy didn't move.

"Yeah, definitely." James chimed in. "It was just a matter of time before we sprung up at him." Remus almost laughed. He wanted to remark that they looked pretty scared to him, but he kept quiet and let them have their moment. He watched James pick up all three wants. "What should we do with him?"

"Leave 'im here." Sirius frowned. "He'll snap out of it soon and find himself face to face with Filch --- not to mention at least a week's worth of detention for being caught out of his dormitory after curfew."

James laughed. "We should get upstairs before we're noticed, too. It's nearly curfew."

The four agreed and walked along quietly when they approached the other students returned to their dorms, all with expressions of relief.

Sirius walked up closer to Remus and bumped shoulders as he whispered in his ear, "Mischief managed." He winked, holding up Snape's wand.

* * *

"What'll we do with it?" James whispered from his bed. Remus looked over to see James lying with his head at the foot of his bed, Snape's wand in his hands this time. Lights were out. The moon gave off the only light coming into the room. It was late, he thought, for James to be awake.

One-thirty a.m. 17 October, four days to full moon.

"Well, we obviously have to jinx it." Sirius was sitting at the foot of James' bed, watching James twirl the wand aroun.

"We could make it grow sprouts, like a twig, instead of releasing a spell for next time he uses it. And every time after that. It does look... kinda twiggy." James suggested.

"Yeah, that would be funny, but it's not enough. We have to think of something better." Sirius responded.

"Well, what do we do, then?" James questioned. "Break the thing? That will wreak all sorts of havoc."

"No, we can't just break it! That would be too obvious. What are we supposed to do? Just hand him a broken wand back? We'll get in trouble for sure."

The two remained quiet for a few minutes, staring at the wand. There were infinite amounts of possibilities... infinite... finite... "Finite Incantatum!" Remus exclaimed, making the two boys jump up.

"What?" James asked.

"Finite Incantatum! Stops effects of spells." Remus sat up in bed. "I don't know if it would work on a wand, but it's worth a try. Let me have a look at the wand." He met James halfway and grabbed hold of Snape's wand, only to put it down on his nightstand. The two boys stepped close behind him. He took out his own wand and with a pause --- he wasn't really doing this, was he? ---- and after a deep breath, he belted out, "_Finite Incantatum!_"

There were no visible effects on the wand at the moment. The three boys watched it, as if it might jump out at them. "Let's see if it worked." Sirius picked up Snape's wand as Remus turned around. "I shall try to expel the wand from your hand. Ready?" Remus held his own wand up, at the same time Sirius did, and without any notice, the boy cast, "_Expelliarmus_!"

He jumped as if he thought the wand would soon go flying away from his hand, but nothing happened. His spell had worked! The two boys in front of him jumped up and down, but they were careful not to shout. "Ohhhhhh ho!" Sirius laughed. "I can't wait to see the look on Snape's face when he finds his wand no longer works."

James' expression became serious. "The only thing is, as you mentioned before, we can't just hand him back his wand. He'll know for sure that we've done something with it. We have to get it back to the hall somehow. Just toss it somewhere in the general area we were standing with him. They'll be looking for it in the morning when Snape realizes it's missing."

However, no one was ready to volunteer. They had nearly risked trouble before curfew and now that it was well into the night, no one wanted to be caught. Sure, they could come up with excuses as to why they were out wandering the halls at nearly two in the morning, but no one would believe them. Remus might have a legitimate excuse. The staff was aware of his condition and possible strange behaviors close to the full moon. He could very well be "sleepwalking" or sickly and on the way to the infirmary and they might not even second-guess him. "I'll do it."

James and Sirius stared at him, wide-eyed. "You don't have to get in trouble for us, Lupin. It's really not worth it. We should just toss it over the staircases and let it land somewhere at the bottom and be rid of it."

"Right at the bottom of Gryffindor staircases? Nowhere near where I expelled it? That's a bit shady, isn't it? Then we'll all get into trouble. No use all of us getting in trouble. They might let me off a little easily since it's my first offense." He dare not explain his true plan. "That's if they catch me."

"If you think it's worth the risk." Sirius frowned.

"Sure, why not. Mischief feels good." He half lied. He grabbed the wand from Sirius' hand and walked out of the room before they could convince him otherwise.

* * *

His heart was still racing even after he had been lying in bed for an hour. His trip back to the hallway by the library went off without a hitch. He wasn't sure why he wasn't caught, but he was grateful no one had caught him. He didn't know what lie he would come up with to save his face or maybe he could lie but whoever confronted him wouldn't believe him. He didn't want to think about that right now. All that mattered was that we was safe in bed and finished with all the excitement.

All he needed was some comfort now. How was he to find comfort at two-thirty in the morning? He sat up, not knowing what else to do, and watched his friends as they slept. They all fell asleep so easily after that. He wished he were as strong as them, to be able to fall asleep after having nearly risked their education at Hogwarts by hurting another student. They weren't to be blamed, were they? Snape had it coming to him, especially after what he tried to pull off, but what provoked him to poke his wand at their faces? Surely he couldn't have cornered the two so easily. Maybe he underestimated Snape's abilities. The boy did do well in his classes, especially when it came to defenses, so was it more likely that Snape was defending himself against the two, even if they were unarmed? He thought about asking Snape himself, but didn't know if he should press the matter so soon after the incident.

Still, this shouldn't be the issue at the moment to be so concerned with. He took out his quill and a piece of parchment from his nightstand and began to write to his parents:

_Dear Mum and Dad,_

_I thought that I would write to you about something that has been bothering me. Although I am appreciative of you sending me to Hogwarts and being sure of my safety here, I am wondering whether Hogwarts is the proper place for someone with my condition? I would like to ask you to further your research of schools that tend to people with like needs and concerns. Please write back soon with your thoughts. _

_Yours, Remus._

He put his quill down and lay the piece of parchment underneath one of his books so that he could send it out first thing tomorrow morning. What would they think of this letter? He yawned and lay down again, ready for sleep at last. He was too tired to keep his eyes open, let alone question the letter he just wrote. He fell asleep soon after.


	3. Chapter Three

Disclaimer on first page (first chapter).

* * *

**_Oh Dreaded Night! _  
Chapter Three**

After he sent his owl off, with wishes that the letter would reach his parents quickly, he joined his friends at the breakfast table; they all looked well rested and happy, something that he couldn't relate to but tried his hardest to fake. He noticed James looking over to the Slytherin table, trying to locate Snape, but he was nowhere to be found. "Probably spent his night in the infirmary." James said, stuffing his mouth with bacon.

"Spent it crying for his mum!" Sirius gleefully expressed, bumping his shoulder into James' arm. If it hurt, James didn't express anything. "You should have seen the look on his face when you expelled the wand from his hand, Lupin, you'd have really enjoyed it."

Somehow, Lupin doubted that. In addition to fatigue from the little sleep that he got last night, pangs of guilt started in his stomach and worked it's way up to his throat, which made him feel as if he'd be sick. He needed more than ever for that letter to reach his parents soon. They were his only hope out of this school. He stuffed a roll down his throat, though, as he needed some sort of sugar to get on with the day. He had the feeling he'd be attacking his stash of chocolate later, as well. "I bet!" He mumbled.

Peter pointed to Lupin's plate. "You gonna eat that bacon?"

"No, you can have it. I'm tired of bacon." He lied.

"Tired of bacon? I think I could have it every day for the rest of my life and still love it!" Peter expressed, with a laugh. "Thank you." At least he was polite about it. Lupin pushed his entire plate over to Peter, which made Peter happy, but concerned. "You're not going to eat breakfast?"

"I had a roll. I'll probably have another, but that's about it."

"You sound surprised, Pettigrew. Lupin hardly ever touches his food." Sirius commented.

"He does, so! Well, he likes his chocolate, at any rate. He's gained a few pounds since he's started school here. It's not good to be so thin." Peter said, eating the bacon quickly as if it might escape his plate.

"It's not good being a lard ass, either." Sirius sneered, at no one in particular. "Send off your letter, Lupin? Nice to see someone has decent parents that they could write to for no particular reason."

"Yep." Lupin answered, curious why Sirius was concerned about his letter. Maybe he was just trying to make conversation.

"I haven't written to my parents since the first week of school…" James frowned. "I really ought to, but I don't know what to say, really. Dear mum and pop… School is really great… Hope you're well… Love, James."

"I'm sure they'd like to hear from you." Peter added. "Even if you just say hello. Parents, especially mothers love that kind of stuff."

"I know, I'll write a letter home!" Sirius mimed writing, "Dear Mum, I just wanted to write to thank you for sending me off to Hogwarts so that I don't have to be in your foul presence every day of the year. Be sure to give Pops and my dearest brother hugs and kisses for me. Love you to pieces, Sirius."

Lupin noticed that every time Sirius mentioned home his tone would turn sarcastic. He didn't know whether to be upset that Sirius should regard his family in such a matter or to feel sorry for him. James and Peter seldom spoke of their home life and… for obvious reasons, Lupin kept any personal matter well… personal. Whatever troubles happened at home seemed to happen because of his condition. His parents wouldn't admit it, but he knew it was true. He could tell by the tone of their voices and how they sometimes addressed his condition very cautiously, talking as if he were a baby and wouldn't understand what they meant. He obviously couldn't understand since he was a werewolf and didn't know how to respond to normal people matters, ha! He dreaded the full moon at home even more, since it took away time from his parents. Here, he could just go to the Shack and be on his own and do his own thing, but with his parents it was a different story. When they locked him up, he could read the expression on their weary faces: their son was a burden. He imagined that life was much easier for them now that he was going to school away from home. He knew the lengths they went through to cooperate with Dumbledore to get him in here. To them, it probably didn't matter where he went, as long as it was away and as long as there was a way to deal with the… you know.

"Ah! Look, there's Snape!" James nearly shouted. They all turned to the main entrance and watched as the boy with the scowl on his face made his way to the Slytherin table. "He looks meaner and paler than usual. Ha!" James was not exaggerating. When Snape sat down, he looked over to the four of them with a look of disgust over his face. James and Sirius waved at him, Peter continued eating his breakfast, and Lupin sat there feeling rather sorry for both himself and Snape.

"I wonder if he wrote a letter home as well." Sirius joked. "Dear Mums and Daddums. Last night I had the unfortunate accident of running into some mean Gryffindor boys. They knocked me out and took away my wand. I was crying about it all last night and I think I shall cry about for the next week or so. Please send me back home so that I don't have to face them again, I beg you!" He said in his best Snape impression. "Love, _your honey pie_, Severus." The honey pie expression nearly sent James into hysterics and Peter spat his bacon out nearly across the table.

"Watch it, Pettigrew!" James huffed, clearing bits of bacon from his plate.

"Sorry! It's just that when Sirius said 'honey pie' I nearly choked!" Lupin couldn't pass laughing at that along with the others. The use of honey pie _was _brilliant.

* * *

They weren't able to see Snape again until Transfiguration class. By that time, Lupin was trying to imagine where his owl could be flying over at this point. (It was really the only thought on his mind until James brought up the fact that Snape had his wand back.) He liked to think that since his owl was fairly young that he could make it to his home in a short amount of time, but one never knew. If it wasn't enough that he had to wait for his owl to reach _them,_ he had to wait for them to respond and then for the owl to make the journey back to Hogwarts.

They watched him as much as they possibly could without causing a disturbance in class, hoping that Professor McGonagall would call on Snape to demonstrate, but she never did. In fact, she taught the class today more from the book than the usual hands-on treatment. You could just about see the anxiety building each of them. Sirius, who was usually the most relaxed, took to sitting closer to the edge of this seat than Lupin had ever seen before. James was testing the professor's patience… she glanced over at him quite a few times when she noticed him eyeing Snape.

"Potter! Is there something so interesting about Severus that you continually turn around to look at him?" She finally snapped. The class giggled at her remark while James turned red in the face.

James opened his mouth, and just when it seemed that he would snap back, he shook his head and mumbled, "Not really." Every one turned their attention to Snape, who in turn became even more embarrassed than James had.

"Can I ask that you pay more attention to the lesson than to Severus, then? Or shall I have to place you in a seat next to him?"

"No! That's okay, Professor McGonagall!" Snape spoke up before James even had the chance. "It's okay, it's not bothering me."

"I didn't ask _you_ Severus. But since you felt the need to comment, I feel that perhaps you two do belong in seats next to each other. Come now, James, gather your things. There's an empty seat right next to your friend." At the mention of 'friend', James turned red in anger, this time, instead of embarrassment. He opened his mouth again, to speak, possibly to express his discontent, but the professor spoke first, "Ten points from Gryffindor AND five from Slytherin for disrupting class. Hurry it up, Potter, you're holding up my class."

James made his way over to Severus' once lonely desk. Once he had settled, Professor McGonagall went on with the lecture.

* * *

  
  
"How's it feel to sit next to Snape? You didn't catch any of his fleas, did you, Potter?" Sirius barked.

"No! I didn't, thank Merlin!" James scowled. "I can't believe she did that!"

"You were looking at him an awful amount," Lupin added.

"Was I? Aw, it doesn't matter, because now I have to spend the rest of the year near that foul beast." James pouted.

"Yeah, but I wouldn't necessarily view it as a completely bad thing!" Sirius said. "Just think, before you had to torment him from afar. Now, you can torment the hell out of him and not even leave your seat!"

"I suppose you're right," James sighed. "But now we can't _scheme_ his tormenting together. There's a big difference!"

"Eh. We'll just have to come up with things before class, that's all."

"Yeah," James agreed.

"If that wasn't bad enough, she gave us an unusual amount of homework… even for her!" Peter piped in.

"Don't complain now, Peter, complain when you're doing James' and my homework at the end of Quidditch season." So, they hadn't forgotten.

Peter grumbled.

"Next game's on the 21st. I can't wait! Hufflepuff versus Gryffindor!" Sirius jumped, happily.

"In the case of Hufflepuff versus us… it's obvious that we're going to win!" Peter exclaimed. "That's a given."

"Obviously." James remarked.

Lupin's heart sank, though. He couldn't think of remarking on a game he wouldn't be able to see. For the first time, he actually wanted to see a match, and wouldn't even be able to attend! He growled. He wasn't sure if it was loud enough for the others to hear it, but he growled just the same.

"What is it, Lupin?" Sirius asked, looking concerned, if not surprised to hear that low growl come from his friend.

"Nothing. I'm in a foul mood today, that's all."

"Yeah, tell me about it!" James sulked, but wrapped his arm lightly around Lupin's neck in a display of affection. "This is a horrible day and I wish it would be done with!" He remained locked with Lupin until they entered their next class.

* * *

  
  
In the far corner of the library Lupin sat. He was alone until noticed Snape approach him. He froze as the boy came closer. He didn't know how he was going to look him in the face after last night's incident. What was he going to say other than the obvious? He was just protecting his friends.

Snape didn't bother to ask to sit down, but just took the seat directly across from Lupin. "I know you tried to do something with my wand." Lupin opened his mouth, but the boy continued. "I know you tried, but I'll have you know that you were unsuccessful. I'm only telling you this because you're the only decent one out of that lot AND should you try to do something to my wand it will be AGAIN without result."

He looked down at the table. He had never felt so ashamed.

"Don't play shy with me." Snape hissed. "You certainly didn't when you knocked the wand from my hands. My only form of protection against those bullies you call your friends! Why do you… even associate with them? I know you're not on their level. Well, you weren't, but it seems you want to sink down. You don't have to do that, to get friends, you know. I'm sure that there are others here that would associate with you if you ever gave anyone the chance to get to know you."

"Speak for yourself." Lupin spat. "I don't see you with any friends, either."

"I'm extremely picky with whom I associate." Snape stared at him, making him quite uncomfortable. "Not a lot of people would be able to handle me as a friend. If you haven't noticed, I'm quite disagreeable… and not one to follow the herd with trends and the like."

"Add unsightly appearance…" He scoffed.

"Yeah, well, a person can't blame themselves for their looks." Snape looked Lupin over disapprovingly, "It's all up to genetics."

When he thought about it, Snape really wasn't that hideous looking. He looked… sickly more than anything. He was sure that if Snape had more of an agreeable personality that having friends wouldn't really be a problem. Anyone could have friends, he thought, even a werewolf seems to be getting used to the idea of friends. He warmed up at the thought of James' friendly expression before, on the way to class. He nearly smiled.

"It is. But, what is your point of being here, anyway? You were going on before about how your wand was tampered with…"

"Yes. I might explain to you that _Finite Incantatum_ only stops magicks that are in effect. NOT a potential spell…"

"How did you…"

"I have my wand enchanted even further. No one who touches my wand can use it. In addition, I have a way of keeping track of each spell that comes from it or comes at it."

"You don't!" He didn't believe Snape.

"Oh, I do! I knew as soon as I wiped your fingerprints from all over my wand. You must have had a good grip on the thing, it nearly indented with your grip. Were you the one who returned it to the hall? You must have been. The others, no matter how brave and careless they might seem wouldn't have the guts to."

"So, what happened last night, anyway?" He said, ignoring on purpose everything Snape had previously said.

"You expelled the wand from my hand!"

"No, no… before Peter and I arrived."

"Pettigrew was there?!" Snape exclaimed in embarrassment. "Anyone else there for the show?"

"No. But tell me what happened. What made you point your wand at them like that?"

"Don't your friends share in their troublemaking? I thought you were so close. You might want to ask them about it, they _might_ tell you the truth."

"Just tell me what happened!" Lupin was desperate to know.

"I've got to go." Snape rose. "Consider what I said." And now, for the first time, he didn't want Snape to leave. He rose with him, but Snape was quick to leave the library.

"Damn it!"

He didn't have the heart to tell his friends about Snape's wand (or the surprisingly revealing conversation that they shared). He figured that he would keep quiet about it until they discovered that their attempt didn't work… which would most likely be tomorrow. That way, he would be able to blow it off as some interference by Dumbledore or some other professor, not the truth. But what he really wanted to ask was what happened last night that Snape freaked out like he did. But most importantly, why was Snape so ready to give information about his wand out? Was it as a warning not to try anything else on his wand? Did Lupin really effect his wand, but Snape didn't want to seem effected by the spell OR the confrontation with James and Sirius?

He could make himself dizzy with all he had to think about. He felt as if he was going to be sick again. Blame it on nerves. Blame it on the moon. Whatever it was, it seemed to be more than Lupin could handle. He gathered his books and ran as fast as he could get away with back to his room. And if no one was there right now, he just might let out a scream. He just might let out a good cry as well, before anyone was there to see him.

Unfortunate for him, when he got back, all of his roommates were there to greet him. They were all sitting on the floor and all faced him at the same time. He cut through their group to get to his bed. He threw his books down on the floor and hopped into his bed.

"Not gonna join us, Lupin?" Sirius inquired.

"Quiet, Sirius… he doesn't look to be in a good mood." James suggested, with a punch at Sirius' shoulder."

"You still feeling _foul_? Might do you good to laugh instead of pouting up there in bed all by your self." Sirius prodded. "Whaddaya say?"

"I'm not in the mood, Black." Sirius looked surprised. Lupin had never addressed Sirius in such a way. But it didn't matter; he was allowed to stink up the room with his foulness. It didn't matter anyway, if his parents would just respond to him quickly, he could find out what was going on and where he would be heading onto after this. Wherever he went, he would be sure to keep to himself, as originally planned, and not dabble into the affairs of others. No one was worth this confusion.

The room went quiet after his remark, and the group broke up momentarily to stand up. "If you want us, we'll be in the common room, Remus." Sirius led the other two out of the door, closing it quickly behind them.

Finally he had the room to himself.

* * *

Reviewers: **AffectedMangoO **thank you so much for reading and commenting! I know this is off to a slow start… I just hope that it's not too slow. Things are building up a bit, I think.


	4. Chapter Four

Disclaimer on first page (first chapter).

* * *

**_Oh Dreaded Night! _  
Chapter Four**

The few days leading up to the night of the full moon never proved to be easy for Lupin. For the most part, he remained himself, but would fight off bouts of extreme moodiness. At one end of the spectrum that was his emotions, there was the depressed Lupin. That was what he was experiencing right now, in fact, as he lay awake in his bed, not a wink of sleep and just a few hours to sunrise. He was depressed, mostly, because he couldn't rest at all and it would interfere with his day. It was the last day he had until the full moon and he didn't want to waste it being exhausted. But being exhausted also proved to be helpful at times, as sometimes the wolf would pass out from it before the night was over, leaving little time to hurt himself or his surroundings. At least, that was what he thought made the wolf pass out. It was a good theory that he wouldn't really want to argue with.

At the other end of the spectrum, there was the manic Lupin. He mostly became depressed after a manic episode, in which he felt as if the wolf would rip out of him prematurely. There were times, he felt, that it came close. He would be in his bed and all of a sudden feel a jolt from inside, nearly knocking him out of his bed. He would try to remain still while it happened, but that didn't prevent him from feeling as if he had been labouring all day, sweat coming out of every pore of his body, soaking his sheets. He was grateful for the curtains around his bed, so that no one could witness what happened, but at the same time, they made him feel claustrophobic. There were times when he just wanted to throw them open, but the fear of someone seeing him was stronger, and he kept them closed.

This had just happened moments ago. He swore that he should be used to it by now, but his body wouldn't let him be. It was just as taxing on his system as it was any time before. He was convinced at these times that as he got older, the wolf would only get worse and finally take over. He wondered if his self would be locked inside the wolf just as the wolf was locked inside of him right now. It was enough to keep him awake at night, just thinking about it.

He had expressed his fears to his parents when he was smaller, but he no longer did. He felt that it was too intense for them. He recalled one night, a night before the full moon when his body nearly went into seizures, that he told his mother what he was experiencing, and she cried out to his father to come. She cried out for his father to come and put her child out of his misery. _"I can't bear it any longer, please… please… how is he supposed to live like this? How is he supposed to live?" _She wailed. It looked like she hurt immensely and might explode from hysterics at any moment. He just looked up at his father, helplessly. His father was holding up his wand, and Lupin knew that he was seriously considering ending his son's life. Obviously he hadn't, he only pulled the wand away and left the room, but when Lupin looked back at this time, he sometimes wished that he had ended it all. It wasn't natural for someone to live their life like this. It wasn't right for others to be harmed by it.

He didn't wish to end his life, really. No, not really. His only hope was that some day someone would come up with an antidote… or that the full moon would stop appearing the sky every month at some point in time. He had to tell himself (often) that it was only one night out of the month and that the rest of the time he was himself. He was Remus Lupin. He would be strong. He would find his place in life, other than his place as a werewolf. But really, this was just his talk out of a dark place. It didn't go away easily, these thoughts, he could still feel the sinking feeling in his chest.

In just a matter of hours, he would be heading to classes. The thought of having to face anyone was torture to him at this moment. The only thing that might be able to calm him is the thought of being alone for the entire day and just let it happen without having to go through the motions of the day beforehand. He considered talking to Dumbledore before breakfast so that he might be able to get out of his classes. His headmaster would understand. But that was hours away… he needed to find something to do until that time to occupy his mind.

First off, he took a piece off his chocolate bar, (finally opening the bed curtains) and ate it with tiny bits, prolonging its stay only if for a couple more short moments. If he could smile any time he tasted chocolate, he would. He also made a mental note to keep more chocolate out in the open while he was in wolf form… maybe it would like the chocolate just as much as he did and find comfort in it. With that though, he took off another piece and grinned, even if it was slight.

He thought of taking out his lunar charts, but realized that it would only make him even more anxious and depressed. He decided instead, to do something that occupied his hands and not only his thoughts. He took out his quill and a piece of parchment and closed the curtains around his bed again. He took out his wand and softly called, "_Lumos!"_ It brightened his tiny space a bit more, which made him feel a bit better. He placed his lit wand to rest on the headboard, where it balanced, luckily, and thought about what he might draw.

Since his bed was lacking items to draw, he held out his hand, and with the other, drew a detailed picture of his hand – lines, fingernails, hair and all. After completing his drawing, he looked at his work, a bit critical of himself, but in the end decided that he didn't do that bad of a job. When he really thought about it, it had even calmed him down a bit, to do something like that. Maybe it was something that he could try from now on when he was feeling down in the middle of the night.

When he thought that he had seen enough of his drawing, he moved to put it inside one of his books, but stopped when he heard someone shuffling around on the other side of the room. It had to be either James or Sirius. But who would be up at this hour? The footsteps came closer to his bed, "Lupin?" Sirius whispered. "Lupin, you all right in there?"

He quickly grabbed his wand. "_Nox._" He waited a moment, to see if Sirius would move to go back to bed, but he heard no returning footsteps. He peeked from behind the curtain and found Sirius watching the bed, rubbing his tired eyes. "Yeah. I'm fine. Just couldn't sleep, is all."

"You sure?" Sirius whispered, sounding as if he didn't believe what Lupin was saying.

"Yes, yes, I'm sure. Just fine."

Sirius stepped up to his bed. "Do you think I can talk to you for a minute?"

"Uh… all right."

Without asking, Sirius took hold of the bed curtains to push them back and crawled onto his bed. His first reaction was to block him from coming onto his bed, but Sirius moved quickly… he was already settled onto the bed and closing the curtains once more.

"I couldn't sleep much tonight, either." Sirius admitted. "I think I knew that you were awake somehow." He paused. "It was bothering me…"

"Oh! I'm terribly sorry, Sirius! I'm just not feeling that well and it's hard to sleep."

"No, no. It's not your fault. I know you haven't been well lately. These past couple of days we've cut you some slack because you've been looking ill. The truth is, Remus, I always knew that there was something wrong with you… since the first week we've lived in this room together. Only, I never had a name to give it. I know that there are people who are sick who try to lead normal lives and sometimes it's difficult for them. Although, you seem to do an amazing job in school despite it all." Sirius lowered his head. "I have to tell you something, and you have to promise not to be upset with me."

He knew! Sirius knew! What did he do? Did he follow him to his secret place? Did he overhear one of the teachers talking? Did everyone know? He couldn't stop the look of panic that spread over his face. Thank goodness they were sitting in the dark. He was about to tell him what he knew… but he didn't seem afraid to tell him. It seemed strange to Lupin that Sirius remained so calm. Another person might run away in terror, screaming. He imagined a frightened Sirius screaming around the dormitory trying to evacuate everyone from the area as the wolf inside pounded to be released. But that wasn't the case.

"Please promise you won't be upset, Lupin."

"I… promise." He gulped.

"The other night you were thrashing around in your sleep, pretty violently. I stepped towards your bed so that I might wake you up… to tell you that you were just having a nightmare and that it would go away. As I stepped closer, you thrashed your arms around so much that you knocked all your books from your nightstand. After that you seemed to calm down a bit, although you were whimpering very softly. I don't think that anyone heard you… anyway… I picked up your things, so you wouldn't have to freak out about them being on the ground, and… well… I found the letter that you sent to your Mum and Dad. I don't know why I didn't just put it back underneath the books, but I read it. I'm a nosy bastard, that's why. There's no explanation for it. I just am. I read your letter before you had the chance to send it. I didn't know that your illness was so troublesome that you wanted to leave Hogwarts. Please tell me you aren't thinking of leaving!" Sirius squeaked. "We've gotten attached to you, Lupin. You're great fun to be around with. It would be awful if you left."

"Oh!" he felt the tears welling in his eyes and it was too late to stop from crying. He let out a sob and buried his face in his hands. Sirius reached out, not knowing what to do, and began rubbing his back to comfort him.

"I'm so sorry, I really am."

"It's… it's not the letter. I don't care if you've read it, it's just a damn letter."

"What is it, then? Are you really ill? I just want to know what is making you ill. Maybe… maybe we could see if there are specialty healers. Have your parents sought out anyone?" Sirius was still rubbing his back.

"There's really no cure for what I have. Not yet, anyway. For the most part, I feel fine, but at some times, it's just intolerable. It's a rare condition, so healers don't know a lot about it."

"That's just awful, Lupin. I don't know what to say."

"It's good to know that you care, at any rate." As he wiped his tears, Sirius pulled his hand away.

"We do care, even if we are a bunch of bastards." Sirius laughed and sniffled, perhaps on the verge of tears himself. Lupin smiled, and let out a hint of a laugh. "Anyway, you should try for a little bit of sleep this morning, don't you think? If you're not feeling well in the morning, I think you should go to the infirmary and get checked out… or perhaps get some rest there in the quiet. It's hard enough to sleep when those two boys are snoring away."

"All right."

"Sleep is good." Sirius yawned as he opened the curtain wide enough to get through. After he had stepped of the bed, he looked back at Lupin and waved. Lupin waved back and settled back into bed once his friend had gone, pulling the covers over his weary body. He didn't even feel his head hit the pillow… he was out cold.

* * *

  
  
**_Dear Remus,_**

****

**_I hope this letter reaches you quickly, I know that you are awaiting our response  
with eagerness. Your father and I have discussed this at length and have hopefully  
come to a resolution that you can agree to. We understand that your condition is  
very special and that at certain times you feel alone in your suffering. We know how  
troubling it can be for you away from home and familiar settings. If it is your wish  
to return home, then we will be there as soon as possible to come get you. However,  
if you wish to return home it will be to stay home. There are no other institutions  
that exist as you described. We think it is because yours is such a rare condition and  
there just isn't the demand for such a place. If it were up to us, we would want you to  
be where you would feel the happiest. At first, we thought that Hogwarts might be that  
type of place, to be with boys and girls of your own age that you would possibly befriend  
all while learning about magic. If this is not the case, as I have mentioned, please write  
back to us as soon as you receive this letter telling us to come take you home. We wish  
that you would at least reconsider Hogwarts, but understand if you are no longer wish  
to stay there. Please write back to us regardless of your choice. We need to know if you  
are well or feeling differently about things. Also, your headmaster has made it known  
to us that if you are having any difficulties that you can see him about things as well.  
He has been most gracious. We feel that you are in excellent hands at Hogwarts,  
far better than what we can give you at home. Please know that we love you and that  
we think about you all the time. We hate to think that you are having a difficult time.  
We will do anything to make you feel better. Please know that._**

****

**_Love always,_**

_**Mum and Dad**_

He had the letter with him, in the pocket of his cloak. Everything negative that he had thought about his parents before quickly dissolved, as did his wish to leave Hogwarts. He was now armed with his friends' and parent's love for him. It was the only thing that was going to help him get through this night. Professor McGonagall was designated to make sure he reached his destination tonight. She waved to him from the doorway as he made his way into the empty room alone. He waved back reluctantly and then placed his hands back in his pockets, perhaps just to feel the piece of parchment he had received earlier that morning. He watched her as she shut the door and listened for her spell to seal the door.

* * *

  
It was as if Professor McGonagall never left. In fact, it was as if she had heard his cry as he woke up. He heard the door open, and as if she had never been witness to the day after his transformation, she let out a gasp. He stood up, naked, but not entirely ashamed or coherent for that matter. She helped him into his clothes and attempted to fix his hair and wipe away the dirt and blood from his face.

"Are you all right, Remus?" She finally spoke up.

"I think I am." He didn't tell her that he felt sore and exhausted to the point that he might pass out any moment again. He didn't tell her that it was difficult to get over the fact that just a couple of hours ago he wasn't in the same form she was looking at right now. He laughed at the thought of her seeing him naked, but it barely bothered him at the moment. Perhaps later the shame would hit him.

"Can you make it to the hospital wing? Are you all right to walk?"

"I think so." He yawned and made his way towards the door.

"Oh, your cloak. I'll carry it for you." He was glad she was there, that someone was there. That he didn't have to wake up alone. That he didn't have to wake up to the worried look of his parents. Yes, being here at Hogwarts was much better than being home.

"I want you to get to sleep right after you're cleaned up. You look exhausted." She said, concerned.

"Ah yes, sleep. Sleep is good."

* * *

  
  
**_To Remus,_**

****

**_We found this stash of chocolate in Peter's trunk. We thought that you  
would definitely have better use of this than he would. Besides, his mum  
is always sending him sweets; he can go without some for a week. Or can he?  
Peter wants to add that in fact, he can go without sweets for a week. James  
wanted to place a bet against it, but Peter smartly retracted his statement.  
As for myself, (this is Sirius if you haven't already figured it out) I think we  
should all share the chocolate, but that's entirely up to you. Peter and James  
think that I shouldn't have added that last statement, but I told them to sod off.  
I'm the one who is writing this letter and I will put my opinions in it. It won't  
hurt anyone that I think we should all share the chocolate, would it?  
I didn't think so. In any case, please get better soon, or I shall have to go insane  
listening to these two idiots (who are now complaining that I called them idiots  
and that I refuse to apologize). How we need your voice of reason! Get better  
or we shall beat you. There! That should guarantee a speedy recovery._**

****

**_Your friends,_**

**_Sirius  
James  
Peter_**

****

**_P.S. I mean it when I say get well soon!  
_**

* * *

  
  
Reviewers: **AffectedMangoO **thank you for reading and commenting again. Aside from tonight's newly added chapter, the conversation between Lupin and Snape is my favorite scene. I didn't plan on bringing in Snape so soon, but I think it worked out well. There will be more to come!


	5. Chapter Five

Disclaimer on first page (first chapter).

* * *

**_Oh Dreaded Night! _  
Chapter Five**

If the other stalls were empty, he might have been able to express his pain a bit more loudly. Instead, he cowered as the water pounded at his flesh. Every splash of water brought stinging pain to his cuts and pounded against his bruises. Even a week after the full moon, even with administered medicine from the nurse, the cuts and bruises would not heal as fast as he wanted them to. With every breath he took, it was more pain. He wondered if he were to stop breathing for moment the pain would be less intense. But he knew this not to be true.

How many times had he attempted to wash and how many times would he hold his breath when the soap glided over his damaged skin? He dare not count. He considered not showering, sure, but he knew that in order to keep his wounds clean he had to wash them. He could stand away from the shower and use a cloth, but that took forever and it was much too cold to tolerate being naked without the warm water easing his temperature. So, he took it the hard way. They say trials like these build character. He wondered who would say such a stupid thing in the first place. And what type of character did he want to build, exactly? He shook his head, and growled quietly underneath the water. The pounding water would mask out his growling but it wouldn't mask his screams. And he wanted to scream.

Keeping a stall in-between them, Peter was two doors down. It seemed that this was the unwritten law if there were available stalls. (Or perhaps an unwritten law of Peter's?) Never take one right next to each other. He wasn't sure why this was, since the walls of the stalls were very much separated by height. He never really thought about it until he saw Peter go to take the next one over, but upon seeing Lupin take his, went over the next after that. Thinking that the space in-between him might just be a blessing in disguise, he let out a short but louder gasp to shake off some of the tension from the pain. Of course it didn't help any, so he continued the shower in silence, but eyes tightly closed. Maybe not focusing on the scars was the way to recovery.

He stopped the shower, quickly; no use in prolonging pain. He dried himself with an oversized overly fluffy towel that his mother had equipped him with. Hogwarts towels were too rough on the skin. He learned that the hard way his first year. He didn't think of writing to his parents to send him a new, softer one, so he scraped the said towels over his delicate skin, nearly crying with every touch. Over the summer they bought a few towels and his mother stitched his initials onto each one, to his dismay. RJL in perfect, bold script. Deep inside, it made him happy that his mother would put such love into these things, but on the surface he cringed at the thought of anyone noticing the detail. The boys certainly had a blast teasing him because of the different towels as it was!

Peter's shower had stopped shortly after, and the boy let out a sigh. "That shower felt _wonderful!_" He envied Peter's "wonderful" experience and cursed, under his breath, his wounds. "You know, Lupin… you have to tell me where your mum got you those towels. I followed your idea of bringing my own, but they always seem to loose their fluffiness when they get washed."

"Sorry to hear that," he grunted. As much as the towels were soft, they could still be harsh on the skin.

"Me too. Do you think it's weird that I should ask my parents for fluffy towels for Christmas?"

Lupin laughed. "Wouldn't you rather have something else?"

"Not at the moment!" He exclaimed. "But, you're right. There are more important things." Lupin laughed again at Peter. He couldn't believe the boy was thinking about the holidays already, and here it was, the 29th of October. 29 October. One day after the last quarter… seven days to new moon… fourteen days to first quarter… twenty-one days to full moon. Maybe it really wasn't too soon to be thinking about the holidays. "What are you hoping for this Christmas, Lupin?"

He wanted to reply "no full moon", but he shrugged and called out, "Dunno" instead.

* * *

  
  
"I really wouldn't know how to go about scaring Snape." James admitted. "He doesn't seem to be affected by anything or any remark I throw at him in class. Besides, why do we have to think of a prank on Halloween? Everyone knows that Halloween is amateur night. Everyone and their mum are out tricking someone."

"You're right about that." Sirius remarked, sadly. "I was thinking of learning how to transfigure into an animal and follow Snape around all night. No doubt he would tell a teacher about it… but just as he's on the trail of the so-called animal, I would just transform back to my human self and they would think he was completely off his rocker. Well, that or a complete liar. I even went as far as researching it in the library. You wouldn't believe how long it takes to master that sort of transfiguration." He sighed.

"Not only that, but you actually have to register that sort of thing with the Ministry of Magic. Well, if you want to go about it legally." James added. "It is interesting, though." Lupin was surprised to see the two reach out so far just to pull a prank on Snape.

"What fun is it registering, though? Obviously not every one registers! What would be purpose then, if you wanted to sneak around? Uh… yes… I would like to report that I am Animagus. That way anyone who wanted to track me down could. Good idea!" Sirius laughed.

"What were you thinking of transforming into?" Lupin asked Sirius.

"Black dog. First thing that came to mind. Actually, I originally intended to scare Snape into thinking he was being followed by a Grim. That's the only thing that might scare him good. But then, I thought, it would be much more amusing if he actually told people that this animal exists in Hogwarts when it actually doesn't. Making him appear insane in front of adults and embarrassing him in the process is actually what I'm out for."

"I think if we tricked Snape into thinking he was going to be tricked… but actually didn't might be funny, also." Peter suggested. "You know… if we treated him nicely?"

Sirius and James seemed to be considering this with much thought. As for Lupin, he really wished for this all to end. He knew that Snape was an easy target for these sorts of things. No one particularly liked the boy, especially Sirius and James who took this dislike, this hate even, to the next level. He never understood why people would go to all sorts of lengths to harass people that they didn't like. If they didn't like him, why wouldn't they just leave him alone instead of spending hours cursing him out and giving their attention to him? He understood that everyone needs a hobby, as one can't dedicate their entire lives to magical studies, but weren't there other suitable hobbies for boys his age? Quidditch anyone?

"Ho! He would be so confused, he wouldn't know what to do with himself!" Sirius clapped. "And all we're doing is being nice to him! Ha!" They couldn't do this on a day-to-day basis? "I think I might even offer him some of my Candy Corn!"

He laughed along with the boys, as he couldn't keep a straight face looking at the zany appearance of Sirius' own. That was a boy obsessed. Funny, but obsessed.

"You have Candy Corn?" James asked, excitedly.

* * *

"Okay, read it over again… are there any spelling or grammatical mistakes? You know he'll have a field day if he finds any."

"I know how to spell, Potter!" Sirius grunted. "All right. Ahem. Yes. Dear Severus: Please take this bag of Candy Corn from Honeydukes as a peace offering. I hope on this holiday of Halloween we'll be able to put our past behind us and start a new friendship. Have a Happy Halloween! Your friends, James, Peter, Remus, and Sirius." He finished the letter and then added, "I put the names in alphabetical order."

"No shit." James laughed.

"That's brilliant!" Peter jumped up.

"You know he's not going to eat them, right?" Lupin added.

"Of course he isn't. I expect that he'll come marching over to our table and make a big fuss about how he's not going to take the candy. I just want to see him get all huffy and puffy about a perfectly normal bag of Candy Corn." Sirius laughed.

"Fine then. Let me tie the note to the bag." James reached his arm out to Sirius. Sirius handed him the note and James tied the note (with a pretty bow) to the bag.

"Geez, Potter! I wasn't aware that you were so remarkably adept in gift wrapping."

"Stuff it, Black." James showed no signs of embarrassment, if he felt any.

"Give it here. I want to be the one to give it to him. He'll be extra suspicious." Sirius grabbed the bag from James' hand.

"Be sure not to crush the bow!" James shouted to Sirius as he hopped out of the room in excitement. "What are you two staring at?" He asked, rudely. "Don't you want to see the look on Snape's face when Sirius hands it to him?"

"Of course!" Peter jumped again. They both followed James to the dining hall, where they were just in time to witness the hand off. They watched Sirius, large smile on his face and all, hand the bag of candy to Snape. Snape, looking surprised, could barely muster a smile and then immediately looked around the room for the missing boys. When he locked in on their location, James and Peter waved enthusiastically, while Lupin only blushed and went quickly to sit down to the breakfast he would barely want to touch again.

"Did you see that?" Sirius rushed up to the three. "He barely blinked!" He sat down and piled his plate with breakfast. "What's he doing, Lupin? I don't want to look behind me."

"He's… just staring back at me." He frowned. Snape's face only filled with amusement after he read the note. Soon, a smile crept over the boy's face… a smile that didn't look so kind. But he didn't tell this to his friends.

"Heh. Probably doesn't know what to do with himself." James laughed.

"He's probably trying to figure out what we did to it." Sirius laughed.

Lupin watched as Snape put the bag of candy on the table, very casually, and then continued to eat whatever was on his plate. Even Lupin was surprised at the lack of response from their target. But then, after the talk they had at the library just over a week ago, he didn't know what to expect from Snape.

"He's not coming over?" Peter whined. They had just about finished their meal.

"I don't think so." He looked across the room once more, but Snape was now paying no attention to their table.

"What's wrong with him?" James growled. "He should be throwing a hissy fit by now."

"I wondered if he even bothered to read the note!" Sirius exclaimed.

"I'm sure he didn't even notice the bow." James mumbled. The three boys howled with laughter after his statement. James even started to giggle, but quieted his giggle with a grin. "Oh well. No big loss. Good suggestion, though, Peter. I have a feeling he's very very confused but just won't fess up."

* * *

  
  
At the Halloween feast, the boys were barely able to enjoy their treats. The entire day had been spent following Snape as much as they could, seeing if he still carried the bag of candy around with him. But most importantly, they wanted to see if he had any reaction or any words to say to them about the candy or the note. Whatever came to mind. They found that he in fact carried the bag with him, but hadn't disturbed the packaging whatsoever. This was particularly frustrating to James who made a bigger deal out of it than anyone else.

"What is he trying to prove carrying it around all day, anyway? If he didn't care for it then he should have just thrown it out." James pouted.

"Maybe he doesn't care to be bothered." Lupin stated.

"He does! I know he does. He's waiting for us to make some sort of move. And I'm going to do it!"

"What are you going to do, Potter? Force him to eat the candy? He's not going to." Sirius questioned him, in-between bites of pumpkin pie.

James rose from the table, and huffed over to see Snape. The three remaining decided that it might be best to stick up for their friend in case a confrontation should come about, so they followed him. When they reached the table, they (James and Sirius) were already conversing.

"But I had a few pieces just now!" Snape grabbed the few pieces of candy on the table and stuffed them into his mouth. "They're delicious! Thank you, guys. Thank you so much. I didn't say anything much today because I have to admit that I was quite taken by your note. I do hope that we'll be able to put our pasts behind us and remain friends. It would be better for our studies, too, if we got along. It's distracting in classes trying to put up with you. Especially Transfiguration." He paused and pointed to the bag, inviting James to take some if he wished. James agreed and took a fistful.

He stuffed his mouth with candies. "Mmm.. you have a point."

Sirius was just about to grab a handful himself, when James reached his arm out to block him. James made a sound, as if he were clearing his throat from all the sugar in the little candies, but then let out a loud cough. Although Lupin could only see a bit of the side of James' face (the rest was blocked by the back of his head and unruly hair) James opened his mouth, letting out an squeal… or was it more of a squeak? Snape said nothing. James turned around to face his friends and when he opened his mouth to speak, something came protruding from it, something that unraveled itself quickly, sticking out in front of the boys. James' tongue had transformed into a party blower! A black and orange checkered party blower! As soon as the blower had appeared, it disappeared back into his mouth, again with a squeak.

Not thinking, James opened his mouth again, perhaps thinking that it had gone away, but the blower that was once his tongue came speeding and squeaking out. The entire table of Slytherins were hysterical. James dare not turn around to face Snape, as his eyes were full of tears. Seeing this, Sirius threw himself at Snape, knocking him and his chair down. Lupin wanted to help James first, as Snape deserved to get his ass kicked by Sirius, so he led James and Peter out of the dining hall and instructed, on their way, for Peter to take him to the hospital wing. James and Peter rushed off and Lupin returned to Sirius and Snape, whose fight had already been broken up by their headmaster. Dumbledore was holding Snape at his shoulders, and Professor McGonagall had Sirius in a near headlock. "Calm it down, boy!" She shouted.

Lupin just stood there, too dumbfounded to say a word more.

"These boys need to calm down a bit. I think that my office is just the place for it." Dumbledore suggested to McGonagall. She nodded and dragged the still fighting Sirius away from the table. "Mr. Lupin, would you please accompany your friends?" He wasn't sure why he had referred to both of the boys as his friends, as it was clear Sirius was more of a friend to him, but followed the group out of the dining hall. "You sent James off to the nurse?" Dumbledore asked him.

Lupin nodded, "With Peter," he whispered. He was too frightened to speak any louder.

"Very good." He wasn't sure if they was complimenting his actions, or just agreeing that that was the right thing to do. "Madame Pomfrey should be able to correct his tongue in no time." He shook Snape as he said it.

Snape seemed more rigid than ever, perhaps just as frightened as Lupin was. He also found that his face was even paler, and the frown on his face had deepened even more. Sirius, on the other hand looked beyond angry. He had given up the struggle with McGonagall, and was walking without force down the hall to Dumbledore's office. He was, however, the angriest Lupin had ever seen him. It probably took all he had not to say even more nasty things to Snape. Once they reached the office, the two boys sat on the chairs in front of Dumbledore's desk, while McGonagall and Lupin stood behind them.

"Now, tell me exactly what went on." Dumbledore said, looking at the two boys. Both open their mouths and started shouting. "No, no. Quiet down. Lupin," he looked at the scared boy, "tell me what went on."

"Well, sir… James, Sirius, Peter and I gave a bag of candy corn to Snape for Halloween. We didn't hex it or anything, it was just regular candy corn from Honeydukes'. We thought… we might be nice for once this Halloween to Snape. I admit it was to elicit a reaction, but like I said, we didn't do anything to the candy. Anyway, James seemed upset that Snape hadn't thanked us for the candy and note so he went over to see Snape about it. Snape was eating a few of the candies when we reached the table and even offered some to us. James took a handful and popped it into his mouth. He didn't know that Snape had hexed it. His tongue… his tongue turned into a party favor! I sent James and Peter to the hospital wing, because I was most concerned with James, but Sirius had gone at Snape and I couldn't stop him."

"_Wouldn't_ stop him." Snape blurted.

"Why should I? You turned my friend's tongue into a party blower!"

"That's enough, you two!" McGonagall threatened.

"Yes, please Severus, do not speak out of turn. I asked Mr. Lupin for his side of the story."

"I apologize, sir."

He ignored Snape's apology and turned to Sirius. "You know, Mr. Black, that two wrongs do not make a right." Sirius did not speak, but hung his head low. "I expect you to apologize to Mr. Snape." Sirius opened his mouth in protest, but Dumbledore continued. "In turn, Mr. Snape shall apologize to you. I expect the two of you to serve detention with Professor McGonagall, in which you will write letters of apology to one another. Well, that's for the first night. Professor McGonagall can assign her own detention for the other six days." McGonagall nodded. "As for James, Peter, and yourself, Remus, I don't expect you to serve detention. After all, I can't punish you for giving out candy on Halloween… but I will ask that you spend the rest of the evening in your rooms. You may not participate in tonight's Halloween activities." He held up the bag of candies. "These are no longer yours, Severus, as they are now confiscated. I hope to see no more candy corn or other hexed candies from the lot of you. If there is a next time, I will seriously have to consider suspension or expulsion. That party favor could have choked the boy if he didn't realize what was going on, Severus. You wouldn't want a seemingly harmless prank turn into murder would you?"

"No sir." Snape whispered.

"Very well then. Professor McGonagall, if you could escort Mr. Black and Mr. Lupin back to their room, I'll escort Mr. Snape to his."  
  
"Yes sir." Lupin joined her side and waited for Sirius to make his way to the doorway. The three quickly made their way out of the office, Lupin looking back at Snape to find him watching as they left. Professor McGonagall hurried them into their room, remarking how disappointed she was, adding that she would visit James to make sure he was on his way back to normal. She shook her head as she considered the thought of a party favor as a tongue and left the boys in the Gryffindor common room.

"WHAT a Halloween!" Sirius jumped, once he knew she had gone. He had a huge grin on his face. He bounced around the empty common room for a moment, until he noticed that Lupin did not share his excitement. "Lupin? What's wrong? Don't tell me you think Snape didn't deserve a punch in the face?" He demonstrated a punch to the air.

"Oh, he deserved it all right. Just we deserved what happened to James."

"Don't say that, Lupin. We did nothing wrong to Snape."

"I don't know, Sirius, we promised the boy friendship and didn't deliver."

"Surely you don't think he took it seriously?" Sirius asked with a more serious tone.

Lupin didn't answer. He only headed back to his room, with or with Sirius. Hopefully without. He walked over to his bed, finding a piece of paper on the floor next to his trunk. He picked the piece of paper up and turned it around, finding nothing on the side facing up from the ground. On the other side, there was a note printed in Sirius' handwriting:

**_Dear Snivellus,_**

****

**_We hope that you choke._**

****

**_Happy Halloween._**

He held the note in his hand for a moment longer before crumpling it and throwing it off to the other side of the room, angrily. He then hoped that the letter they attached to Snape's candy corn was the one they had read out loud. Sirius walked into the room, looking a bit guilty, but with a slight hint of satisfaction still left on his face. Lupin didn't put it past him to do such a thing. He wanted to ask him, but he kept quiet.

Maybe he would ask Snape. No, he wouldn't be able to confront the boy ever again. What he said back in Dumbledore's office was correct. He _wouldn't_ stop Sirius from beating him up. At that moment, though, he wanted to go to him and apologize for not stopping Sirius from doing what he did. If he was able to walk into Slytherin dorms, he would go right now. But seeing as he couldn't, just as he couldn't tolerate being in the same room as the over-satisfied Sirius, he broke Dumbledore's command to stay in his dorm. He left the room and wandered the halls until he ended up in a familiar place: the library.

The large room was the quietest he had ever witnessed it. The lights had been turned off, save one that was burning very dimly to the far corner of the room. He moved over to the lit section, not having a lantern on his own, and almost jumped back and ran away when he saw a familiar figure sitting with his back towards him. Snape had unfortunately heard him and turned around to face him. He looked over Lupin, disapprovingly, and then turned around, back to reading or… whatever it was he was doing.

"He didn't hurt you, did he?" He called out, surprising himself.

"Why would you care?" Snape snapped.

"Well, even though what you did to James was low, and even though you deserved a good punch to the face…"

"Please, Lupin. Save it. Don't waste your breath. Nothing will come from this conversation. And don't you dare come near me. I wouldn't want you catching _lice_ or any other vermin." He noted Snape's emphasis on the word "lice" and frowned, not really understanding what he was getting at. He stood there for a moment longer, silent. "Could you please go? I came in here so I could be alone… can't have quiet anywhere else, what with Halloween festivities going on all over the school. How _aggravating._"

"Whatever you wish, Snape." He bowed, unknown to the boy with his back turned, mocking him in his gestures. He could have sworn to hear his name being called out once his back was turned and well through the library, but he wouldn't give Snape the satisfaction of going back. He walked down the hall, and to his surprise he saw James and Peter just ahead of him. He hurried up to reach his friends before they turned the corner.

"James! Are you all right?" he called.

"Lupin!" There was still a slight squeak to his voice, and his tongue went out a bit further than usual in speaking.

"Oh, Lupin! He's still got a little squeak, but Pomfrey said it would be gone by morning." Peter added.

"Glad to see you're all right. Sirius is back at the room. We're not allowed to participate in activities tonight."

"We know." James squeaked, sadly. Whether he was upset about not being able to participate or upset about his tongue, the other two didn't know.

He patted James' back. "We got out of detention though! Well, Sirius and Snape have to serve it together with McGonagall…"

"Poor Sirius. Having to stay in the same room with that slime!" Peter growled.

James frowned, but it was obvious he was relieved he didn't have to spend his evenings with McGonagall for the next week.

"Poor Sirius, indeed!" Lupin mocked, but it didn't seem the boys noticed his sarcasm.

* * *

Reviewers: **AffectedMangoO: **My faithful reviewer! Thank you! I'm not certain why there aren't more reviewers. I guess people aren't interested in the story much. I know it's not very exciting and smutty, but I happen to think that it's all right. ;) **Sexy Black**: Thank you for the kind words! And to my anonymous reviewer, thank you, too!


	6. Chapter Six

Disclaimer on first page (first chapter).

* * *

**_Oh Dreaded Night! _  
Chapter Six**

It was clear that James was not going to forgive Snape for the party blower incident. It was now well into November, just two weeks after Halloween, and James was still jumpy about it all. He was now the subject of party favour jokes all around the school, especially with underclassmen (the upperclassmen laughed a bit about it but decided it was too childish, after all). In addition, Snape had picked up on his "sore spot" and somehow convinced a good part of the Slytherin house to carry party blowers around the school. For the first day, James would jump when he heard one, and immediately speak after; just to be sure his normal tongue remained. A few days after that, while the joke still lingered, but just barely, he was more than annoyed with his tormentors and challenged quite a few duels. None of which were ever carried out, but came close.

Sirius, of course, stuck up for his friend; especially when it came to Snape. Just the look on his face was enough to send people away or to pocket their noisy favours (why didn't these things ever die out with such steady use?). It only resulted in more detention with Professor McGonagall in the end, for Sirius. He often commented that she should prepare to be with him every evening this year, as he wouldn't stop defending his friend and sending away "all the losers".

Once everyone lost interest Snape was the only one to focus on the group. He left Peter and Remus alone for the most part (although those looks he would throw Lupin's way every so often was enough to frustrate) but did not hesitate to blow on his blower or eat candy corn in front of the boys. Why none of the staff picked up on these "attacks" was a mystery to the four boys. All four were almost to the point that they wanted to tell some adult about it, but they knew it would only make matters worse. This was something that they had to handle on their own.

Lupin lost faith in Snape completely as a potential friend. He knew that as long as he was a friend with Sirius, James and Peter being friends with the other boy was not an option. This was true for the reverse. It was one or the other… and he really didn't have to give much thought about it. For one thing, these other three were his roommates. He would be around them twenty-four/seven. He needed to be friends with them. Being unfriendly was not a possibility. There was more to that, though. He had grown very fond of all three. They were close to him, as brothers might be. No, even closer than brothers, he convinced himself.

He liked watching Sirius go on about one thing or another. Mostly, he went on about things that weren't so important, but the way he mentioned them in conversation, you would think that they were the most important things on Earth. He seemed to be very passionate and intelligent and well spoken for his age. He seemed like the most selfish person in the world, but just when Lupin thought this might hold true, he would do something to disprove the fact. This was mostly true when it came to his friends.

James, although he was horrible moody at the moment, seemed to be the most honest person he knew. He could be brutally honest, but he was honest nonetheless. Lupin was envious that James seemed to care very little about his studies, but when it came time for demonstration or exams in class, he always knew what he was doing. He seemed ahead of the class, somehow. Perhaps it was because James seemed to live a balanced life. On the one hand he had his best friend Sirius and they would always get in trouble together. Oh, and Quidditch. He never saw anyone so obsessed with the game! James made a promise to himself (in front of his friends, though) that he would practice and try out for the team next year… as he was kicking himself for not trying out for the current season. On the other hand, he was just so bright and clever when it came to magic. And learning. His brain absorbed things like a great grey sponge. (Lupin laughed when he really thought about that image)

Last but not least, there was Peter. Lupin enjoyed time with Peter when the other two were not around the most. He had the feeling that Peter was very intimidated by James and Sirius and was not completely himself when around them. But once they left the room, or left them to the room because of their numerous detentions, Peter would come out of his shell. He told Lupin everything that would go on that day and sometimes if he was so bold, he would tell him what he really thought about James and Sirius always getting into trouble. From what Peter has told him so far, Peter didn't mind that they did it and actually enjoyed it most of the time… but had a feeling that it was a bad thing that they messed with Snape as much as they did.

Lupin had to agree. He felt that party favours were just the tip of the iceberg when it came to Snape. From the small conversations that they had, and from his observations of Snape in class, he was also very clever. He knew that Severus Snape knew more than a second-year should really know about magic. The conversation about his wand – that was enough to prove it, right? There was also maturity to Snape that exceeded a twelve year-old's. He wasn't sure what this was about, but left it to family matters and upbringing. Whatever they may be.

He couldn't help but think that Snape was interesting, though. Maybe it didn't go as far as wanting to be his friend. But maybe it did? If he wasn't close to these three, would he go for a friendship with the Slytherin? He related to Snape somehow. Yes, that was it, he related to him. Not in his personality, no, he wasn't like him… but he had the feeling that if he wasn't friends with James and Sirius he would be that easy target to pick on just as Snape was. He was so easy to pick on! Lupin wanted to shake it out of the boy. If he wasn't going to be friends with Severus, at least couldn't the boy have decent friends? Couldn't he have _any_ friends_? _

_"Not a lot of people would be able to handle me as a friend. If you haven't noticed, I'm quite disagreeable… and not one to follow the herd with trends and the like."_

"Merlin, you don't have to be to have friends!" Lupin said quite seriously, and quite loudly to his embarrassment. He looked at Peter, who was staring back at him, and the two laughed out of nervousness. "Sorry."

"Quite all right." Peter giggled. "Thinking out loud happens to all of us. Whom were you thinking about?"

"No one. I mean, a bit about myself, actually. I'm glad I have you all as friends. But… heh… I don't mean to get sappy."

Peter smiled. "I'm glad to have you as a friend, too, Lupin! I mean, it's nice to have someone to talk to in the library. Even though you really shouldn't be talking in the library. But… remember when we would sit together and not say anything? I wanted to say something for the longest time and now I can."

"Yes, that is a good thing."

"I know the other two don't talk about it a lot, but I think they're glad that we're all friends. I think they were trying for a long time to be your friend, but you just didn't acknowledge them." Peter added.

"Honestly, I didn't know if they were trying to be my friend or pick on me as they do poor Snape."

Peter laughed. The conversation fizzled out, and they continued their Potions assignment.

* * *

  
  
"Don't you think it's weird, Remus?" James walked with Lupin to the dining hall. They were a bit late getting to dinner. "I mean, you're living your life as a Muggle, no clue whatsoever to magic, and then when you're ten or eleven years old, you get a letter admitting you into Hogwarts School of Wizardry?"

"I never thought much about it."

"That must be mind blowing!" He scrunched his face as his choice of words. Seems he was still sore about the prank.

"That's… awfully random. We were just talking about Quidditch a moment ago. What made you think of it?"

James pointed ahead of them, at a bunch of Gryffindor girls. "Lily," he whispered. "Both her parents are Muggles." It was the first time that James had mentioned Lily in a more… complex way. Any mentions of her were very rare, and they would only be if he were mentioning the class in general. To see him focus in on her like this, it would only mean one thing. He fancied her. Lupin couldn't stop the smirk from forming on his face.

He couldn't blame James. Lupin happened to think that Lily was one of the more pretty girls in his class, if not all of Gryffindor. He liked to think it didn't go beyond that – thinking that she was pretty – but he often found himself looking at her and then trying to hide the fact that he was looking at her. And that only resulted in Lupin blushing and hiding his face away. The girl did not seem to notice this level of his shyness, as she did not hesitate to be friendly to him and say hello any time they would see each other outside of class.

The fact that Lily was Muggle-born was no secret. Status of family was often discussed at Hogwarts amongst the students. It just seemed entertaining to Lupin at this moment that James would bring this up as a topic. He could have right out said "I fancy her." But James was too cool to do that. He knew he was safe even hinting at it with Lupin, but he wouldn't dare mention it to Sirius. Sirius would torture him to no end about it.

"I suppose it must be difficult for her adjusting. But, she seems to be doing an okay job with it, don't you think?"

"Yeah, I think she does." James answered. "She could very well be the smartest in our class. Erm, the smartest girl, anyway. You'd get smartest boy, Lupin." He blushed at this compliment and wanted to squeal _"Really?!" _Instead, he tried to tone down his blush and thanked James. "Nah, really! You're really smart. I'd be doing much better if I were sitting next to you in classes, and not Sirius… or… _Snivellus._ You're good to let Peter sit with you. I've seen his improvement in classes."

Lupin smiled. He felt like teasing James about Lily, but thought that it could wait for another time. They were now entering the dining hall and he had the feeling James didn't want Sirius to catch wind of their previous conversation. When they sat down, Sirius made a sarcastic comment on how nice it was for them to make it to dinner.

"Stuff it, Black." James smiled.

"You should have to go to bed without any supper. Both of you." Sirius remarked, smiling as he ripped into a chicken leg.

"Yeah. Right after you give us our spankings." James added. This made everyone within listening distance laugh.

"Don't joke, Potter. I'm not sure about Lupin here, but I'm sure you might like that sort of thing."

"Not as much as you'd like giving them." Everyone laughed even more. James' and Sirius' antics caused such a reaction, day to day. Lupin was surprised that by now they hadn't run out of things to say. But the words flowed so carelessly back and forth that if you hadn't known better you might have said it was scripted.

"Oh, so you admit you like it, then?"

"Ah, yes, you have me there." James sighed, dramatically. "Just like you _had_ Severus Snape last night."

"No, no, you must have me confused with someone else. Yourself, perhaps?" The two couldn't go on any longer as they were laughing so hard, nearly choking on their food.

"Perhaps you two should consider a career in television." A girl's voice spoke. "I can see it now, The Sirius and James comedy hour. Starring Sirius Black and his sidekick James Potter." Everyone turned to see Lily spitting out her words, fork with uneaten food still in hand. James blushed, luckily everyone was too focused on Lily to notice, and Sirius looked disturbed.

"For one thing, Evans… I don't care for cheap _Muggle_ entertainment. For another…"

"And I am _not_ his sidekick!" James burst.

The girl laughed and shook her head. She continued eating her dinner, leaving the two boys speechless for the rest of the meal.

"The nerve of that girl!" Sirius finally let out, as they returned to their room.

James seemed a bit more upset than Sirius was, as he wasn't talking about it. James sat on his bed, pouting. Lupin knew it had to do with what they were speaking about earlier, and this just confirmed the fact that James did fancy Lily and she had in turn humiliated him.

"Who does she think she is, just… interrupting our back and forth as if it was any of her business. Surely we don't do it for her entertainment alone to have her comment?!"

"That was surprising coming from her." Lupin commented. "She always seemed like one of the more nicer girls in Gryffindor." It was true; he was surprised at what she had said. He had never been witness to such a thing coming from her mouth.

"Well, you can now strike her off that list, Lupin." Sirius spat. "If she tries something like that again I might have to ask Snape to let me in on his party favour hex."

James, surprisingly, snickered. "Ha! Can you imagine her with a party blower for a tongue?"

"I can!" Sirius shouted. "And it's quite amusing."

"You… wouldn't ask Snape, would you?" Peter asked curiously.

"Oh! No! No. I'd rather have a party blower for a tongue than speak to him on a friendly level."

"I have to agree, Sirius." James added. "I have, in fact, had a party blower for a tongue and can say honestly say I'd rather have that then to have to tolerate Snivellus Snape."

* * *

"Do you really think she thinks of me as Black's sidekick?" James was at it again. If Remus hadn't found it so entertaining, he would have found it incredibly annoying.

"I don't know. Seems like she was just trying to get your attention." This was the most likely, although he wasn't a hundred percent sure. Perhaps Lily was just mean.

"You think?" He frowned. "So, do _you_ see me as Black's sidekick? Honestly?"

"I see you as complete individuals. Granted, you are best friends and nearly attached to the hip. All Lily sees of you two is the two of you together."

"That is true." James considered. James was lying on his bed, playing catch with a dirty rolled up sock. He had been tossing it at the high ceiling for a good part of the evening and caught it every single time it came down. After a while, he either lost his concentration or his interest because he finally let it drop to the floor. He didn't seem interested in picking it up. "But, if you weren't close friends with Black and I?" He continued. "Would you think of him or me as the sidekick?"

Lupin stifled his laugh. "Like I said, I see you as individuals. I even saw that before we all became close."

"I just wonder what made her choose _me_ as the sidekick?"

"Er…" Lupin had no idea, but he had to get James to stop mulling it over somehow. "Your names, in alphabetical order. I think that's how one does it in 'show business'. I wouldn't really know, though. We don't have television at home."

"Mmm. Nor do I. Seems boring. I suppose to a Muggle it would be interesting, though. Did you know that they have _still_ photographs?!" Lupin could not stifle his laugh this time. James followed through with a laugh of his own. "Sorry, I'll quit while I'm ahead."

"It's all right. I don't mind."

"You're easy to talk to." James admitted. "I know Sirius thinks so. Peter too." He sat up.

"You know you can talk to me. Whenever. For… whatever."

"Thanks." James smiled, but there was a pause and this lead Lupin to believe he was about to get into something serious. "You, um, feeling all right, lately?"

James had never confronted him about his illness. Sirius, really, was the only one who had, and that was only because he found that letter… but whenever Lupin thought of them asking questions about his "illness" he became anxious. He didn't like talking about it, obviously, but didn't want to completely exclude his friends. If he thought about it even more, he felt comfortable enough with James right now that he might actually tell him. But he knew that he wouldn't. There was always that fear.

_"You just don't know how others are going to react, dear."_

_"But, Mum, what happens when people start figuring things out?"_

_"Let them think what ever else they want. They do not need to know. If they have any decency, they won't bother you about it. They can know you are ill, of course, but, you need to leave it vague."_

"Yeah." He frowned. There were only five more days until the full moon. It was only this very day that he had begun to feel ill. He wondered if James could pick up on these sorts of things easily. "I mean I obviously feel better than I did _then_." He remarked on last month's full moon or "episode".

"Oh. All right. I just wanted to make sure." James looked down at the floor, perhaps feeling shameful about intruding. He picked up his dirty sock and studied it. "What to play 'catch the dirty sock'?" He said, cheerfully.

Lupin scrunched his nose and shook his head. "Some other time."

"Heh. I know, looks thrilling, right?" The two boys laughed.

"So, are you really going to try out for the Quidditch team next year?" Lupin asked, trying to get the conversation as far away from illness (or dirty socks) as he possibly could.

"Oh yeah! I figure I can get in some good practice over the summer break. I should be right-on come the start of the new term."

"You have someone to practice with?"

"Er, I don't know. You're not interested, are you? I know it's too far in advance to really plan, but should you ever want to visit during summer break you're welcome to. Sirius visited last summer; we had such a great time. I had to drag the poor boy out of my home when the time came for him to leave. He really didn't want to leave. You know how _fond_ he is of his family. He'll probably visit next year, too. He'll want to help me with Quidditch, but he's much better talking about it than actually playing it. He'll tell you otherwise, so be careful." James laughed.

"I've never attempted to play. I think I'd be better at watching, to tell you the truth."

"Well think on coming, anyway. You can referee." James threw his dirty sock at Lupin. It bounced off his head. "Nice catch!"

"I can manage that, I think." he picked up James' sock off the floor and quickly threw it back at James. "Nice catch!" The sock bounced off James' head in nearly the same place it had hit Lupin.

* * *

"Do you realize this time next year we'll be able to go to Hogsmeade on the weekends with the upperclassmen?" James asked.

Sirius grinned. "I know." He spirits dampened quickly, though. "You say this as if it were happening tomorrow."

"I know. I just like having something to look forward to."

"You know what I'd like to see?" Sirius leaned in to the group as if he was about to say something very serious. When no one asked in return, he answered. "There's been strange goings-on at this abandoned house just outside Hogsmeade, nearest school grounds. People say that every month, on the full moon, if you listen you can hear screams coming from it." Lupin felt ill. He felt very ill. Sirius continued, without noticing Lupin's reaction. "You know what I say? I say we don't wait until next year to see it."

"What are you getting at?" James looked concerned, if not frightened.

"I'm saying this month at the full moon, we sneak out after lights out and head over to the shack Full moon's about four days away."

"Are you mad?!" Lupin roared. None of his friends could know his true feeling about it. He didn't want them going because that was where…

"Lupin's right!" Peter jumped in. "There could be werewolves out. With the full moon and all!"

James kept quiet, waiting for Sirius to react.

"Werewolves? Please! The place is haunted! Don't you want to listen to the wails of the ghosts trapped inside the house?"

"N-no!" Peter answered quickly.

"Well, if you don't want to go, you don't have to. Who else is going to freak out about a house? It's probably not even haunted. It's probably just some freak who lives there and is trying to scare away the locals."

"I don't care." Peter looked like he was about to leave the table. Lupin beat him to it, though. Without saying a word, he collected his things and dashed out of the dining hall before breakfast was even served.

He ran to the closest boys' washroom. He threw his bag down underneath a sink before he even reached it. When he came up at the sink, he looked up at the mirror and frowned. He looked down at the sink as quickly as he could. He couldn't even look at himself in the mirror. He felt like he was going to be sick. He felt like he wanted to pick a stall and hide in it for the remainder of the day.

People _heard _him. _"People say that every month, on the full moon, if you listen you can hear screams coming from it."_ His screams. Screams he was so sure that no one else would hear. Screams that came as the wolf was ripping out of his body. He stood still. If he stood still enough he could feel it stirring inside of him already. He would burst open, for sure, before the full moon this time, wouldn't he? _Why do you wait for the full moon, anyway? Why don't you just come out and tear my friends and I apart? That is what you want, isn't it?_

"Isn't it?!!" He shouted. His voice echoed through the empty room.

Just as his voice vanished, the door to the washroom opened. Lupin turned around quickly to see Sirius coming towards him. "Any one else in here?"

"No." Lupin whispered, as if the scream had taken away his voice.

"Are you all right? I didn't just freak you out back there, did I?"

"No." He lied. "I mean. You're really not going to go there, are you?"

Sirius looked over his friend and stepped closer. "I won't, if you don't think it's a good idea."

"I just – I just have a bad feeling about that place."

"Okay. I was only half serious, anyway. Haunted places fascinate me. I can understand that a lot of people don't like them. A lot of people are sensitive to those types of things." Sirius commented, gently. "I can wait until next year, anyway, to see it in daylight. You'll come then, won't you?"

"Of course." Lupin attempted to smile.

"Good, then. You all right? Want to get back to have some breakfast? Maybe you just need some breakfast."

"That might be it." He felt calmed for the moment. He picked up his bag and followed Sirius back to the dining hall, although he really only wanted to stay in the washroom alone all day.

When they returned to their table, Peter and James watched him closely. "Is everything all right?" James asked, looking very worried.

Sirius quickly answered, "Lupin here just needs some food in his system, that's all."

His answer did not calm James' worried expression, though. He continually checked on Lupin throughout breakfast and the rest of the day by watching him for a moment and then turning away quickly as if he weren't looking at him in the first place. This made Lupin feel extremely nervous. James knew that something was going on. The boy, after all, was not dumb.

* * *

Reviewers: **AffectedMangoO: **Faithful as ever! I hope you continue to review/comment on my story. **prosthetic.ballerina** (the following applies to both you and **Affected MangoO)** They **are** in their second year, although I must admit they seem a bit mature for 12 year-olds. (Mr. Harry Potter seemed to be mature for his age as well as some other characters, so I'm going to go along with the idea that some students are more mature than others. Especially in a "magical" setting) I think that the only thing that really keeps true to their age is their continuing love of mischief. That will remain through out, I think, no matter how old they get to be. I plan on ending the story at some point in their second year… but I will continue a new story in their fifth or sixth year. I could go on to write each and every year, but I just don't have enough background on their middle years at Hogwarts and I might exhaust myself trying to come up with new things. I'm looking more forward to writing a more mature Remus, though. We can have lots of fun with that. As far as pairing with Remus goes, I don't plan to do any pairings in this story, as they're only 12! I know it seems that he and Sirius are close, and it could be considered pre-slash, but that's up to the reader, really. In the future? I dunno. I tend to think that there were some feelings between Remus and Sirius but that might not go beyond a very close friendship. Or does it? ;) Anyway, thank you for your reviews and please please continue reading!!


	7. Chapter Seven

Disclaimer on first page (first chapter).

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**_Oh Dreaded Night! _****  
Chapter Seven**

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The first time he heard anyone else mention the "Shrieking Shack" was in the Gryffindor common room. It was the first time Lupin had heard it referred to as the "Shrieking Shack". He wasn't aware that it had been named, or that it was supposedly the most haunted place in all of Britain (no doubt dubbed by one of Hogwarts' own). He was only aware of its use to him. He was under the impression that no one took care in such things as an empty shack. He was under the impression that Dumbledore had chose the location for him because of its dullness. The shack would otherwise be very uninteresting, had he not had to go there and make his monthly change.

This, however, was disproved by three Gryffindor third-years, all who had come back from Hogsmeade with tons of candy and even more stories about the town itself. The only girl of the group had a fascination with the "shack". In-between bites of her chocolate frog, which she seemed to be taking an unusual amount of time to finish for such a small candy, she would boast about how close she got to the actual building. The two boys took little interest in her claims, as they were fighting over a lollipop. But, they too claimed to have been very close to the place.

"You have not!" Sirius bursted, now making the three aware that he and Lupin had been listening in to their conversation, with a hint of jealousy in his voice.

The girl moved her attention to Sirius, "Oh, but I have. Next trip I intend to go even closer. I might even climb the fence."

"You wouldn't!" One of the boys shouted.

"I would! I'm certain there's an unusual amount of supernatural activity going on in there. We could…" Now she was certain she was not going to be in on this alone, "We could hold a séance there. Communicate with those spirits who have passed on, but have not chosen to leave this world!"

"Why not talk to Nearly Headless Nick or Moaning Myrtle instead? Save you the trip!" Lupin added. Sirius chuckled and elbowed him as a sign of approval.

"Bah. They're boring. They might haunt these halls and rooms, but they aren't as severe as the spirits in the Shrieking Shack. I mean you can hear the wails coming from that place for miles!" Her eyes widened.

"You wouldn't last a minute in there. Haunted or not!" Sirius was putting on a show. Sirius seemed to be joking and laughing about it right now, but he saw through that. Sirius really wanted to go. He wanted to see the place for himself, now especially that some third-year girl had been so close to it. If she could do that, certainly he could. He knew that he could do even better. Sirius need not tell Lupin this, it was just a given. The look in his eyes was enough to tell all. The fact that he was participating in this conversation was enough, even.

"I would. I'd certainly last longer in there than you would. Besides, you can't go until next year! Poor second-years." She put on a fake frown. "By that time, the spirits might pass over to the other side."

"All right then, care to make a wager?"

She seemed surprised by Sirius' boldness. "Okay. Let's place bets, then."

"All right. I bet you that I can last a longer amount of time in there than you can."

"Sirius ---" Lupin was shaking his friend's shoulder, as an indication to stop what he was doing.

"You're not allowed to go there, silly little boy! How are we supposed to try this out when you can't leave Hogwarts? And DON'T suggest sneaking out because it's not worth getting caught over a bet with a second-year!"

"Aw, you're just scared!" Sirius pouted.

"No, I'm not. I don't want to be expelled. I've worked too hard these three years here to do that."

"You mean two." Sirius added.

"WhatEVER! These two _plus_ years." The two boys near her just stared at Sirius with dull expressions on their faces. "Why don't you just cool down? We'll just have to wait until you're big enough to visit Hogsmeade, that's all. It's just one year you'll have to wait. Or are you an impatient little boy?"

"I can wait." Sirius growled.

"Good, then. We'll have to arrange something for your first visit." She stuck her tongue out at Sirius.

"Let's hope you can remember."

"Yeah, I'll be sure to remember about your _important_ bet." She sent herself into a fit of giggles.

Sirius opened his mouth, to have the last word, but Lupin did not let him. He pulled his friend out of the common room and into the hall towards their bedroom. The girl's laugh could be heard throughout Gryffindor, it seemed, in mockery of Sirius, and this hit him hard.

"She's just too chicken to sneak out!" he pouted.

"I thought we had dropped all this Shrieking Shack business." Lupin commented.

"You have. Peter and James have. I have _not._ How could you not want to go?!"

"First off, sneaking out of Hogwarts in the middle of the night… not the best of ideas. I know you've gotten away with things here around the school, but leaving the building is a completely different offense. Do you _really _want to be expelled?" He pointed to Sirius' pocket. "They'd take away your wand, you know. Not to mention what your family would think about it."

Sirius knew that Lupin was right, but would not admit it. "What matter is it if I get expelled, to them? They've still got another boy who is about to receive his letter of admission. They favour him, anyway. I can't _imagine_ how they'd get on without him." He sneered.

"Well, you'd have to be at home with them all day, for one thing. I don't know your family, but from your comments you can't stand being around them on breaks, never mind the entire year. You'd never be able to see James. You… wouldn't even be able to torment Snape. Think how much the bugger'll miss you!"

Sirius chuckled. "Well, if it's for Snape's sake, then I better mind my business!"

Lupin laughed with him. "That's right. I'm glad you have your priorities straightened."

"I still want to go."

"I know you do, but hold off, for Merlin's sake!" He wanted to tell Sirius to get it off his mind completely, but that would be useless.

"One bloody year."

"Yes, one bloody year. The torture." He rolled his eyes.

"I know!" The boys entered their room, to find that James and Peter had still not returned from their trip to the library. He and Sirius had finished earlier than the other two with their research and would have stayed longer if Sirius hadn't been so itchy to get back to his room… for whatever reason that was. Lupin knew, however, that the library made Sirius nervous. Their assignment was particularly tedious: a Potion's assignment that went more along the lines of a dull History of Magic assignment. (Sirius exclaimed earlier that the ghost of Professor Binns, their History of Magic teacher who was actually a ghost, had quite possibly possessed their professor.) They were lucky to have been paired together, not only because they wouldn't have to go it alone, but also because their professor had the habit of odd pairings.

Sirius, taking the opportunity of their moment alone, asked how Lupin was doing. More specifically, how his parents had responded and if he was still thinking of leaving the school.

"They're very understanding parents. They offered to take me back home, but… I chose to stay here. It would be a waste really, if I were to leave. It's a fine school. I just have to learn to be more tolerant of my illness. That's what it comes down to, really." He wanted to add that his friends where a major part of why he was staying, but he didn't want to get to sappy in front of Sirius. He was near a breakdown as it was, with all the "Shrieking Shack" talk. Not to mention tomorrow being the full moon.

"But, if you're hurting…" Sirius stopped his sentence. Lupin knew that he looked ill, especially now. He couldn't hide the paleness of his face or his odd eating habits (this morning he could barely touch his food, while at dinner he ate everything on his plate and filled it once more) or the unexplainable things he did in his sleep (which was, half the time, unknown to him unless someone mentioned it).

"I'm… I'm a Gryffindor. Gryffindors are brave! We can tolerate the utmost pain and torture!" He lifted his hand, and shook it in victory (and jest).

"You're right. We tolerate Severus Snape in nearly all of our classes… not to mention having to share the dining hall with him as well as other second-year activities."

"See?" Lupin smiled. He was glad that Sirius was making light of situation.

"Not to mention tolerating our own." Sirius motioned to the girl in the common room.

"Well, we all know she's talking a lot of rubbish. I know she fancies those two boys in there with her. She's just trying to show off." Lupin commented.

"Wow! Ha! Maybe that's why she was eating her chocolate frog so delicately. I've seen her with chocolate! She usually stuffs her face with the stuff. She's a regular vacuum, she is!" The two boys had a good chuckle over that. After the effect of the laugh wore thin, Lupin took out some chocolate of his own. He held a piece out to Sirius, who jumped nearly across the room to get hold of it. Lupin sat on his bed and surprisingly, Sirius followed. The boy who he was staring at looked extremely happy as if chocolate was the most wonderful thing in the world and could heal nearly all maladies.

If it was possible, Remus Lupin grew even fonder of Sirius Black that very moment for that fact alone.

* * *

When he left his room to go to Madame Pomfrey, Lupin was always cautious. It wasn't that he wasn't cautious at any other point in time, but he had this feeling. He's had this sort of feeling before. It usually goes away quickly by the time he reaches the "shack". Not only does it go away because he's secure in the knowledge that no one had followed him, but because he's more concerned about his oncoming troubles in transforming that he lets little feelings such as this drift away. Maybe it isn't so much him, but the wolf that does that. He hadn't considered that before. But, in any case, he was feeling particularly worried.

His friends hadn't been particularly inquisitive last night or throughout the day for that matter. They weren't more quiet than usual. In fact, everything had seemed normal up until this point, which made him doubt this feeling even more. Had they been questioning about things or giving him odd looks at the dorm or at the breakfast table he might have a better reason to suspect that they were following him. Or at least planned to follow him. He just couldn't shake that feeling, though.

He walked through the halls toward the hospital wing at a regular pace, frequently looking behind him. He heard no footsteps. He heard no squeaking of shoes. He heard no giggles or gasps or shushes or other sure signs that his friends were on his trail. (He imagined a serious James, shushing the giggling Sirius and the gasping Peter)

People gave off vibes. Lupin had never been able to give these "vibrations" he got from people a proper name. They were always vibrations to him. He couldn't remember if this was always something he was able to sense, since he was so young when he received the bite, or if it was something that came along with being a werewolf. But he knew that his condition troubled his friends enough.

Just a few days ago, after that incident in the bathroom, he knew he struck an interesting chord with James when he returned to the dining hall. James definitely looked at him in a different light than he had previously. That's not to say he treated him any differently, but that there was this certain wall between them now that James might not have previously seen. Yes, it's hard to miss a wall straight ahead of you, but it _was_ quite possible. Lupin saw it immediately in James. For Sirius, it was appearing a bit more hesitantly, but it was nonetheless appearing. Peter, he wasn't quite sure. Although Peter inquired about his health, it was never to the point of pestering or never to the point of walking on eggshells around Lupin, as it appeared James and Sirius were doing. How he hated when his health was in question! Not only because he knew it was a farce and that he had to keep the truth hidden from them at all times, but because he knew his friends cared and there was absolutely nothing he could say to calm them.

His mother should have taught him liar's techniques. Perhaps there was a book, "_The Lie and How I Told It: A Werewolf's Tale"?_ He found no full-length books on his condition, "_although they really ought to have one". _No, he found little passages here and there, maybe a chapter or two, but never a full-length book. Novels, on the other hand, there were plenty. Without a doubt, no one author of these vile pieces of fiction could actually be werewolves themselves, as they depicted the condition not as a disease, but more as a character trait for an evil being. More than anything, they were written for boys his age to scare them into staying indoors on nights of the full moon and out of the Forbidden Forest and such places. Perhaps one day there would be a novel written about the werewolf in the Shrieking Shack, and then he could start charging admission to the shack, in order for tourists to see where the sick fiend bellows his cries out in the night. If he was destined to be this creature, he might as well make a living from it. But he couldn't; someone else, maybe.

When he reached the hospital wing, Madame Pomfrey motioned for him to wait a moment while she applied the finishing touches of a healing charm to a sad first-year Slytherin. She calmed the girl and told her that she would be back momentarily. She walked up to Lupin, trying to look him over and make sure all was well. She nodded, and without a word, they headed to the place where Lupin would soon make his transformation.

Sometimes, on nights like these, the boy felt ridiculous walking out of the school into the night, at the side of a teacher or other staff member. He knew very well that he couldn't go by himself, lest he should not lock himself into the room properly and unleash the wolf on unsuspecting students. If that happened… no, he didn't want to think about the consequences. But, in the same respects, it was like having an adult hold his hand as he was walking across a busy street. He was old enough to do this by himself, yet someone needed to be there, just in case. No matter how he felt, he always ended up thinking the same thing, not only was it comforting to know that someone cared enough for his safety but they were concerned for the safety of everyone else.

At the sight of the Whomping Willow, Lupin knew that he was close to his destination. Madame Pomfrey led, freezing the Whomping Willow, mid-strike (as if it hadn't learned by now their business there) by pushing the knot on the tree with a very long stick. Lupin was feeling quite brave that night, so he stuck his tongue out at the frozen tree, not knowing whether that would bring out a response, but the tree stayed still and allowed passage for Pomfrey and himself. They both entered at the base of the tree and continued down what seemed to be a particularly long hallway. It wasn't any longer than usual. It was the same length as always, but Lupin was fighting it. He knew what his transformation would bring, but he didn't want to bring it out in that room. Not there, again. He had no choice, though.

Madame Pomfrey noticed his dragging on, but did not say a word, as she could probably imagine how painful this was for him. She opened the door to the shack for him, and once he saw him inside and safe, she wished him a good night (not that it would do him any good) and told him that she would be there tomorrow for him. He nodded, that being his only way of answering, and waited for her to seal the door.

He immediately sat down, after hearing it sealed, and began taking off his shoes and socks. He jumped from his seat, as he felt a rush to the surface of his skin, almost tripping over his shoes in the process. It wasn't the first rush to the surface he had felt all day. There had been a number of them. But none of which forced him from his seat. He felt as if he would be sick, but the wave of nausea would only last for so long, before going into another, and then after that he wouldn't feel it any longer because he would be a wolf. It was at this point of the evening that he wished his transformation was a quick one. It was one thing actually being the wolf it was another thing transforming. He sat down again, and proceeded to take off his clothes.

As the last bit of clothing came off, there was a small sense of relief that he would no longer be sweating in his clothes. Not that it was anything to celebrate, really, but any small comfort he treasured. He felt painfully aware that he was naked and alone in this room. He felt ashamed, really, like he should cover himself with a blanket, but he knew that any bit of material he held hold of during his transformation would be ripped to shreds during and after his transformation. He needed that blanket for later, if he thought of using it for once and didn't just drop to the floor after transforming back to his usual form. Maybe tonight he would actually use the bed. But he doubted it. How many times had he told himself beforehand, only to find himself cold and on the floor?

"Every single time I've been in this room." He spoke aloud. But he spoke to no one. He waited on the chair for the next wave of pain to hit him.

It wasn't long until he felt the moon tugging at him. He didn't need to look at it to feel anything… he felt it's light burning on his skin as one might feel the sun's. He was knocked out of the chair once more, but he didn't bother to pick himself up. He just screamed. It was coming, and the only thing he could do was scream. But, after his third scream, he felt a presence. He felt… three presences. He screamed again, not wanting to think who it was behind that door. He knew, but he didn't want to think it. If he didn't think it, they wouldn't be there. As he screamed again, his voice turned into a full growl.

"REMUS!" A boy's voice shouted from behind the door. He knew that boy as James. "REMUS!" There was so much fear in that voice. His feelings had been right all along. He had justification in his worrying. They were here. They were here at the wrong time. The worst possible time.

He crawled closer to the door.

Yet another voice came from behind the door. "Remus! Are you in there?" Sirius called out to him, closing in on the door. Curiosity. Lupin cried, as he tried to reach the door. At this point, he wasn't sure whether he should be going towards it, but he was going there, whether he truly wanted to or not.

"Sirius!" Lupin's voice was barely able to function, but somehow he was able to scream his friend's name.

"Remus?!" Sirius sounded more panicked at hearing his friend call his name.

"Oh, Remus!" The third boy's voice called out. "We have to get him out of there, they're going to tear him to shreds if we don't!" Peter said to the other two boys.

No one answered right off. They were probably looking at each other as if to say, "now that we're here, what do we do?" They probably hadn't thought about that. But then again, they probably didn't factor in the possibility of a werewolf on the other side of the door. Did they _know _it was a werewolf? What did they think was going on behind the locked door? What if they were going to open the door?

"Remus! We're going to get you out of there." Sirius shouted.

"No! NO! Go away! GO AWAY!" He was at the door. He was… touching the door. He could practically feel the boys' fear just by touching the door. But he kept his hand up to it, thinking that he could somehow feel his friends as his humanity disappeared. "Go…!" His words turned into a growl again. The hands that were touching the door were no longer human hands; they were paws, with long nails gliding down the wooden door.

"Why does he want us to go away?" Sirius cried.

"Well, we can't leave him in there!" Peter shouted. "It sounds like there's a _werewolf_ in there." The three boys were silent.

"Go!" It didn't come out of him very loudly. He could no longer form words. They were in his mind, but his mouth could not form them. He cried.

Sirius was touching the door. He was pounding at the door now. His hand was trying to turn the knob, but the door wouldn't budge. It wouldn't budge for anyone who tried to open it. _Just don't try to open it._ "How do we open this fucking door? We need to get him out of there!"

"I remember!" James shouted. There was a short pause. "_Alohomora!"_ Again another pause. Lupin heard the seal on the door being broken. He growled again, trying to warn his friends not to go near the door. But they wouldn't understand him now. His voice was not his own. He put his fallen paw up to the door again, and the other, scratching at it. He heard the boys scream, he knew they had jumped back, but that they were still standing on the other side of it.

He felt a hand come up to the door, suddenly. James. The boy on the other side stumbled, but he finally placed his hand on the doorknob and started to turn. Lupin, not knowing whether the boy would actually make it in or not, let out another growl and attacked the door. He attacked it too late, though, because what he was attacking was a newly sealed door.

* * *

Madame Pomfrey had not returned as promised. Lupin found, in her place, a concerned Headmaster, already in the room. He was sitting on the chair that Lupin had used last night to await the oncoming transformation before the boys came. If his heart had the capability of sinking to his feet or to his stomach, it would have this moment. He didn't remember anything beyond the point of his friends attempting to break into this room. He clutched his blanket in fear that something may have happened to them. (He had awoke in bed, to his surprise)

Dumbledore noticed his awakening, and wished him a good afternoon.

"Your friends are okay."

Lupin nodded. He couldn't speak if he wanted to, with this sore throat. It was what he wanted to hear, that they were unharmed, but that meant that this had all actually happened. He remembered their fear the most, their cries and his as they attempted to "rescue" him.

His lips trembled as he figured that the boys remained unharmed physically, but mentally, he could only guess. One does not recover from an encounter with a werewolf as quickly as one would like to. Lupin knew this for himself to be true, not because he had had his own encounter that changed his life, but because he came close to hurting them. His only friends and he nearly killed them all in one night. How was he ever supposed to apologize for that?

There was no doubt in his mind that they all knew. If they didn't know it that moment of the "rescue", they would have known it only moments after they fled. It didn't take one very long to ponder the use of the Shrieking Shack or why Lupin was led to it. It didn't take long to figure out each and every time he was gone was on a date of a full moon. They could figure it out within minutes. Why hadn't they figured it out before coming here? Had they, but just chose not to believe it?

He could never look them in the face again. He had to be assured by Dumbledore that he could go back to his room safely, in privacy to gather his things and go home immediately without facing the boys. Isn't that what was supposed to happen? Why weren't his parents here? Were they getting his things right now?

Dumbledore was awfully quiet. He didn't know what to make of the expression on his Headmaster's face. He sat up in bed, still clutching to his blanket, and attempted staring the man down for some type of answer. Only, Dumbledore did not answer. He simply rose from the chair and took a seat on Lupin's bed.

Neither of them said anything. Dumbledore turned to look at the boy, and without further thought, Lupin leaned into his Headmaster and cried so intensely he thought that he might never stop crying at all.

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Reviewers: **AffectedMangoO:** I plan on giving Remus and Sirius a lot of chances at hugs and general happiness with each other (when they're not at each other's throats). They are remarkably cute together in this story. If you noticed, in this chapter, they share chocolate and to Remus that is better than a hug ;)**. Queriusole: **I'm glad I kept your interest! Thank you for your detailed reviews, they are very helpful**. Hidden: **Thank you for reading!** The Theif Kuronue: **You don't know how much I appreciate you taking the time out to review. Honestly!


	8. Chapter Eight

**_Oh Dreaded Night!_  
Chapter Eight  
**

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**  
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_On Becoming What I Am._

_What my mother and father most enjoyed was spending summer evenings outdoors. My mother would prepare dinner on a grill specifically made for outdoor use. My father would laugh at her simple way of cooking sometimes (what with magicks and all), but somehow I knew that he appreciated it. I could always tell, at the end of the meal, that he was satisfied with her labours. He would wear the most brilliant smile, and my mother would return it to him and then to me. I didn't care, either way, how the food was prepared. All that mattered was that my mother prepared it, because she always prepared the most wonderful foods. You wouldn't think it by looking at my scrawniness, but I ate a great deal when I was home. I was not a picky eater like most children. I especially enjoyed food after long days of being outdoors._

_I was left to entertain myself, for most of the day. We live further away from town than is necessary, but my father likes it that way. After a long day at work in town, I'm certain that the last thing he wants to see is more town. Give him a small house in the country and he'll be satisfied. And he was. As it were, we weren't around many people. When my mother had to do things around the house that would require me not bothering her, I went off on my own. That's not to say she never spent time with me. She did. She probably spent more time with me than she should have. I know that because of me she had no time to herself. These days, when I'm home, it seems like she might have even less time to herself especially when it comes to those days around the full moon. I hate that this is so, now that I'm growing older. I could tell her to leave me alone and I know she still wouldn't. But that is now. I don't want to write about now. I want to write about then._

_I never understood why my parents decided not to have more children. I guess that's not for a child of my age to understand. I just thought that these things happen, a woman has a child and then has other children after. It was not so. I longed for a brother or a sister. I asked my mother why she wouldn't give me another one, and she would just smile – but there wasn't anything happy about her smile. After that, I didn't ask her again, and thought it would be better if I could show her that I was okay on my own. That I didn't need a brother or sister to keep me company. So, I'd go off on my own like it was nothing at all._

_Getting back to summertime, there were evenings when the weather was most pleasant, and my father did not need to be to work in the morning, that we would stay out later than usual. My mother and father would talk at the table over tea and dessert. I'd grab a biscuit and wander a good way down our back yard to sit and look at the forest. Remembering those moments looking at the forest, I truly thought that the forest had no beginning and no end. I believed that it stretched out into forever. I was in awe of the place, but I was never afraid of it. No matter what my parents would say about the forest and about not going wandering into it alone, I didn't take it seriously. Of course I obeyed them and stayed close to the house, but the forest never threatened me in any way. When I was that small, I didn't grasp such concepts as the forest being strong and unmoving. But I did get the feeling that it was a permanent thing, something that would last longer than me and something that I needed to respect. It was watching over me, I felt, as much as I was watching over it. I thought it would remain that way._

_It had for a very long time. When I was feeling particularly lonely, I saw the forest as a sort of friend. I would sometimes go out in the night to be closer to it than I could be just watching out my window. I don't think my parents ever noticed. If they did, they didn't say anything. But I think that they would have made a big deal out of it the moment they found out. They hardly ever had the reason to raise their voices or their hands at me. Other than this action, this action of going out sometimes, I never did anything wrong on purpose. To tell the truth, I never thought that stepping out to my own back yard was a wrong thing to do. I noticed that my mother would sometimes do it, maybe to look at the forest like I did. I don't know if my father even noticed **her** doing it, since I had yet to hear him mention it. Looking back on it, I think that sometimes my mother felt lonely too, without more children. I think she felt lonely even though she had my father. But, how often did she see him while she was awake, anyway? There were no other adults that she would speak to during the day, all she had was a child to converse with. Maybe she actually spoke to the forest. Maybe she told it all her secrets. Maybe it would whisper secrets back to her in the wind. I imagined that they did this. _

_That is when I started talking to the trees. Sadly, the only way that the forest spoke back was by sending a creature out. In my naivety, I thought that the creature was the forest's way of communicating. It came out of the trees slowly. I watched it as it neared the yard. I stood up, as I did not get a good feeling from this creature. The creature had its eyes locked with mine. It stood still for a moment, and I thought that if I stood still as well it wouldn't approach me. I did not want to give it the idea that I wanted to talk to it… because I didn't want to do that, I just wanted to run. I just wanted to turn around to the house. But I was frozen. It was fear that was freezing me, and confusion. I felt that the forest had betrayed me by sending out this wild animal to me. Perhaps it was my punishment for sneaking outside and not letting my parents know where I was._

_It growled. I hadn't heard anything like that growl in my short years. When it started to approach me again, I couldn't do anything else but scream. I screamed and screamed hoping that my parents would reach me before this monster did, but they didn't. In a flash, the creature had knocked me over and pinned my little body under it's large one. It's drool dripped down its mouth and landed on my cheek. I did not move at this time. I couldn't. I don't even remember breathing. I didn't know what the creature meant to do to me. I thought he might just try to scare me and then jump off me and then back into the forest. But he didn't move. I wanted him off. I was able to slip my arm out and it was my thought that I would try to push him off me. He was too large. I barely even touched it's chest when it leaned down and bit the arm that I was trying to push him off with. He howled, seeing that he had the power over me. _

_I felt blood rushing out of my wound. I knew the creature was real..._

Lupin set down his quill. Never before had he attempted to recreate the moment in words. They were always left to be images and thoughts in his mind. He wanted something to give the boys, so that they would know what happened to him, but he didn't know if this was the proper way to go about doing it. He knew he couldn't face them. No, he couldn't look at them not only knowing that they knew the truth, but that if given a second more he would have either killed them or infected them. Right now, he wasn't sure which was worse. He always thought that it was the living and not the dead that he should feel sorry for; and right now he was feeling very sorry for himself.

He had not left the shack yet. Dumbledore had left before, sending Madame Pomfrey up to his room to tend to his wounds. He did not want to leave the room. He asked Pomfrey if she would bring some writing tools, as he felt the need to write. He didn't specify what he needed to write, but hinted at wanting to owl home. She brought up a roll of parchment, quills, ink and some chocolate. He left the chocolate alone, although just the sight of it was enough to bring a small smile to his face and went straight to writing his story.

Now looking at it, he knew he couldn't finish it, although the complete tale was not yet told. He had yet to go into his first transformation and it's effects after. He wanted to write about how it affected his parents. He wanted to write about getting accepted into Hogwarts and about the changes that had to be made here upon his arrival. But he couldn't go on any further. Not only did he not have the strength to, but he thought it might be a waste of time should he not show this piece of parchment to the boys.

How disappointing it was to him; he had been confirmed in his choice to stay at the school but he had to take it all back. He had to take it back because three of his friends decided to follow him one night. He should be angry with them for doing it, but what other choice did they have? For over a year he would leave monthly with little or no explanation to his whereabouts. If he was in their places, he may have done the same thing. The last thing on their mind was having to confront a dangerous creature, he was sure of that. If anything, they were just being their curious selves. Oh, but how he wished they'd never come! If he did ever see them again, and had enough strength to, he might just scold them. But that was the last thing he wanted to do.

He would leave Hogwarts through the shack and perhaps through Hogsmeade. Yes, that seemed like the best thing. He wouldn't have to go anywhere near the school. When he wrote to his parents later, he would suggest that to them. I'm sure they would be willing to exit this way, as they wouldn't want to be seen leaving with the werewolf child.

For now, though, he needed his rest. If he could rest his mind that would be wonderful. He knew, however, that his body would be the first to shut down before his thoughts did.

* * *

"Shhhhh…"

He could hear whispers in the room. He thought he might be imagining it, but when he awoke, he heard even more whispers. When he opened his eyes, the room had grown dark, but there were a few lit lanterns around the room.

"Great, you've waked him." Sirius' voice. A slap followed, meaning that he had probably slapped whoever was causing the noise.

"I'm sorry!" James apologized. "But if you two weren't going on like idiots I wouldn't have to shush you." They were still speaking softly.

"Remus!" Sirius said, softly but excitedly. "We asked to see you since you hadn't come back yet."

This confused him, but he let them talk anyway. He did not move from his spot on the bed, however.

"We um… we brought you some more chocolate. We also had a pumpkin pie 'specially made for you. It looks delicious!" Peter smiled.

"It does look good. We thought we could all have a piece while we were visiting. Would you like one?" James asked.

"No." Keep the answers brief, he thought.

"Are you sure? Well… maybe later. I understand why you wouldn't want to have some after just waking up." James tried to smile. He looked at the other boys, as if to ask silently, "_What do we do now?"_

"We've plenty of time. McGonagall lifted our curfew for once. Can you believe that?" Sirius inched in closer to Remus.

"Yeah! She said we could leave whenever we wanted. As long as we returned to our dorm straight after." Peter added.

"Imagine her trusting us!" James laughed.

"I know! It's just too bad I don't feel like causing mischief tonight." Sirius laughed. Lupin wanted to tell them all to leave. Something kept him from ordering them out of the room, though. Maybe it was just seeing their happy faces. "We could, uh, keep this short if you want to, Remus. I know you're not feeling that great."

"Yeah, just give us the word and we're out of here." James added. "But, to be honest, we'd really like to stay with you for a little bit. You don't have to talk if you don't want to. I can't imagine you'd know what to say."

"You can stay." He whispered. The three boys smiled.

"We were looking out the window earlier, out at the woods and at the town. Great view." James tried to make conversation.

"We looked around the shack a bit, too." Sirius added.

"We think it's really cool you have this place." Peter chimed in.

"We want to come here every month with you, Remus." Sirius admitted.

"But you can't!" He sat up, shouting.

"We know." Sirius hung his head. "Just saying – maybe if you had some friends around it would be easier."

Lupin knew what Sirius was trying to say. He couldn't believe what was coming out of this visit. He thought for sure the boys would be too frightened to enter this place again. But here they were. All three of them. Living up to the Gryffindor bravery. If he wasn't upset with them, he would be proud to have them as friends. Well, he _was_ proud to have them as friends. They were here. That should be all that mattered. He should get last night out of his mind. He should know he has no control over his friends, nor the wolf inside of him once it was out. He should know these things! But it was too difficult to believe they still wanted to be his friend.

"So, you don't care that I…?"

"Well, we care about you, but we don't care what you are." James spoke up.

"We just wish we could make it better for you." Peter added.

"They're right, you know." Sirius said, confirming what his friends had spoken. "We were so scared for you. That's all we were concerned with. The wolf is not… who you are entirely. We know that."

"We've been sworn to secrecy. We won't let another living soul know about it!" James exclaimed.

"No one else will know!" Peter said, confirming James' words.

"No one." Sirius promised, seriously.

"Thank you." Lupin whispered, as if suddenly losing his voice again.

The boys remained silent for a few moments longer. James spoke up, at last, asking again if Lupin would like a slice of pie. He considered refusing again, but his stomach was growling wildly and had to quiet it down quickly. "Yes, I would like one. And, could you break up some chocolate for everyone as well?"

"Will do!" James exclaimed, happy to share it with everyone.

After taking the first bite, Lupin commented, "I think this is the best pumpkin pie I have ever tasted! Is it? Or is it just because I haven't had anything to eat all day?"

"I think it is." Sirius said, mouth full of pie.

"Mmmmm Mmmm…." was all Peter could say, as he too was stuffing his face.

"I knew you'd like it!" James perked up.

The boys finished their first piece of pie and then started on a second. Lupin was not sure whether having his friends here was making him happier, or if was a rush of sugar from the pie. He thought it might be a result of both. His stomach felt a bit more satisfied, as did his thoughts. He felt as if the smile was a long time coming and that it might not ever disappear from his face if his friends kept treating him as well as they did.

They sat back in their chairs, Lupin on his bed, from all the treats that they had been able to eat, and sat in silence. There was no reason to go any further about the matter, although he was slightly interested in hearing their side of the story. Well, maybe it was a good thing that he was finally calming down and didn't need to be worried about it again.

Peter returned from his quiet moment by sitting up and looking at Lupin. "Will you be coming back with us tonight?

Lupin straightened, and shook his head. "One more night of recovery. I may be back tomorrow afternoon."

"Well, that's good."

"McGonagall wanted us to ask you if you needed anything. She'll be the one to come by tomorrow morning with any more supplies you might need." James said, stretching, looking tired.

"No. I'm all right. I have what I need."

"You suppose we should go, then?" James said, leaning his elbows on his legs.

"It is getting late." Lupin offered, but he did not really want them to leave. The three boys looked exhausted, however, as they probably didn't get much sleep last night.

James and Peter stood up. Sirius remained in his seat. "You two head off. I'll be there in a little bit. I don't feel like moving after all that pie and chocolate."

The two boys did not question him. James approached Lupin and leaned in for a light embrace (again, another surprise). Peter did the same, after. After goodbyes, they left the room quietly.

Sirius looked exhausted. He looked to the ground, looking as if he might not be able to meet his friend's eyes. "Do you want me to stay here tonight?"

After a long pause, Lupin answered, "You don't need to. Thank you, but you don't need to."

"All right." Another long pause followed. "I'm sorry Remus. It was all my fault." Sirius looked up and finally faced him.

"You didn't know what you were getting into." Lupin shook his head.

"I think I did, though. I think we all did. We had to have known, on some level…"

"You didn't know what you'd be facing, though."

"No. That we didn't. Once James unlocked that door, though, I knew. I had this feeling that you were not inside that room any more."

"You locked the room back up again?"

"Yeah. I don't know how I remembered it, though. I suppose in times of danger a wizard's mind works the clearest."

"Especially when he knows he has less than a second to…"

"We knew that that wasn't you. You have to know that. That creature…" He stopped himself.

"I'm sure you know to stay away from this place during the full moon, then?" Lupin felt like he was an adult confronting a child about the mistake he just made.

"I know. But the thing is, I don't want to. I want to make it better for you. I can't imagine what you have to go through each month."

"You can't. No human can be near a werewolf and be safe."

"No human. Well, what about animals?"

Lupin took a minute to consider. "Possibly. I don't think that an animal would willingly be near a raving monster like that, though. It's unlikely that the wolf would do anything to an animal, though. The wolf thirsts human…" He stopped. He thought he might frighten Sirius with what he was about to go into. But what he was saying was true, the werewolf thirsted for human blood and human blood alone. "What are you getting at, anyway, Sirius?"

"Well, remember on Halloween how I wanted to transfigure into some sort of animal? What if I could do that and visit you here after your transformation? Well, not only myself, but Peter and James as well? We could try interacting that way."

"But what if I sensed you were really human?"

"You wouldn't sense it. The wolf would only be sensing animals around him."

" I don't know, Sirius. I don't think it's a very good idea. I think you could talk to Dumbledore about visiting me like this again next month, but I don't think that risking your lives to see me as a wolf is worth it."

"Remus. It's not that I want to see you changed, actually it scares me just thinking about it… but I'm thinking about you. I'm thinking that it wouldn't be so horrible for the wolf if he had someone something he could interact with. Just think about it. I mean, we still have to do research about it…"

"You're doing _research?_"

"Well, yeah. I have committed myself to every spare moment I have in researching."

"I don't believe it."

"Well, believe it!" Sirius exclaimed.

"What's Snape going to think, what with you ignoring him and all?"

"He may think we're up to something, actually. He may know something is up already, as he nearly followed us here. He was scolded by McGonagall, though and sent back to his dorm with a fresh new detention to serve tomorrow evening." Sirius rubbed his hands together in delight.

"Snape didn't…?"

"No. No one followed us. McGonagall made sure of it." This didn't ease Lupin's mind, but it was good enough for now.

"He asked about you in class yesterday, actually. He asked James where you were."

"You don't think he suspects anything?"

"Not really. James told him to fuck off. Snape kept his mouth shut after that! Ha!"

"We have to be sure that he doesn't follow me. At all. I can't risk having anyone else knowing."  
  
"I wouldn't trust him. Not one bit. Especially if you're not one of his pureblood friends. Even then, I wouldn't trust him."

"He doesn't really have any friends." Lupin said sadly.

"No, I don't imagine he does. He would only associate with a pureblood, though. I've heard him talking in class with one of his fellow Slytherins. He was commenting on Lily being muggle-born. He didn't look too happy about it. Actually, he seemed quite repulsed."

"I don't understand him."

"I don't either. I don't _want to_ either. But, here we are talking about the bastard when we should be pressing more important matters… like Animagi." Sirius grinned.

"We shouldn't be talking about that either."

"Well, just think on it. You can join in on the research if you'd like."

"Oh great, thanks!" Lupin rolled his eyes.

"For serious. I wouldn't be considering this if I hadn't done some research already. I'm sure there are more books on the subject. It's just a matter of finding them. We already have a great amount of notes."

"You should pay more attention to your studies."

"Naw. Besides, this is more interesting."

Lupin knew that there was no talking Sirius out of this. Not right now, anyway. He would give it some time before the boys were bored with researching and went on to more important things, like causing trouble and making fun of Snape. He looked at his friend and shook his head.

"Don't shake your head at me!" Sirius laughed.

"You are incredible."

"Do you mean that in a good or a bad way?" Sirius grinned evilly. He stood up from his chair. "Well, I ought to go back to the dorm before the boys suspect me of foul play. They might think we're up here snogging or something."

Lupin laughed. "Yeah."

Before he left, Sirius embraced Lupin as the two boys did before him. His eyes drifted towards Lupin's table and the quill and parchment he had left out earlier.

"What are you writing? Not another letter home, I hope?"

"No. Nothing like that." Lupin left it at that.

"All right then." Sirius did not look convinced. "Goodnight."

"'Night."

* * *

**Reviewers: **As always, thank you for your kind words. I'm really enjoying writing this story, as I hope that you are enjoying reading it. Just for clarification (again) this takes place during their second year at Hogwarts... I know it might be a little confusing, as it isn't mentioned that very often, but I'm trying to contain the story in one school year. I will be writing about their later years at Hogwarts, but right now, (it's November) of their second year. Also, I originally wanted chapts 7 & 8 to be one, but it seemed too long. That, and I had completely different thoughts on each chapter and I would like for chapters to address different thoughts rather than the timeline of the story. Sorry for the abrupt closing... I know it was an awful place to leave off! Anyway, thanks again for reading and continuing to review!  



	9. Chapter Nine

Disclaimer on first page (first chapter).

**_Oh Dreaded Night! _  
Chapter Nine**

"Ah, so you're not dead, after all." Lupin looked up, although he'd rather not, to see Snape looking down at him. The boy had his arms wrapped under five rather large texts. He slammed the books down on the table before Lupin had the chance to read them. Lupin lifted his quill from the parchment just in time to escape a sloppy line across his essay. Snape turned the books, spine facing away as if he had something to hide. Lupin pretended not to notice this move, and continued writing.

"No, I'm not. Does that upset you?"

The other boy laughed as he sat down. Lupin looked around to see if anyone had noticed this move, but no one seemed to be paying attention. At this time of evening, there were students older than himself and Snape. What would they care if two boys such as themselves sat together? Was Snape even planning to stay here? Or was it just a place to rest his books for now?

"I'm rather relieved, actually. But don't tell your friends that. There was a rumour circulating around that you had been found murdered. We weren't quite certain who the murderer or _murderers_ were, but there was speculation it might be one or all of your friends."

"Is that why you felt the need to follow them the other day?"

Snape looked surprised at the question asked, although he really shouldn't have been. He made it no secret that he followed the boys, and the probability that the three others wouldn't tell Lupin about it was very slim.

"If you must know, yes. I was after their guilt, nothing more."

"Heard you served detention when you were caught. Serves you right." Lupin raised his quill again, as if to write, but this conversation was too interesting to pay attention to anything else.

Snape slammed one of the more heavy books open in front of him. He opened to the middle of the book, with no care to what page it opened to. He skimmed the page before speaking again, "It was just lines with McGonagall. Well worth the punishment."

"What did you have to write? 'I will not be a sneaky git'?" Lupin looked angered. He wondered why Snape was here in the first place. So, he thought that Lupin was dead. He was right here, wasn't he? He had been in classes all day with him, hadn't he? Why couldn't he just leave it be?

Snape caught on to Lupin's caustic attitude. "I'm not the sneaky git, in this case, Lupin. Seems like you and your friends were the ones doing the sneaking."

"As much as I appreciate your concern, _Snape_, I'll have you know it is none of your business what goes on in my life. Particularly when my illness is concerned."

"So, you are ill?" There was more than a hint of concern in his voice. "I asked Potter where you were and he told me to fuck off. Instead of being an arse, he could have just said that you were ill. It leads to suspicion, you know. You might want to pass that on to your friend."

"I can't help if my friends are protective of me."

"Ah, right. Gryffindor… I should have taken that into consideration. Explains a lot of the stupidity that goes on with your housemates. Never understood why _you_ were sorted into that house, but I suppose the 'hat' knows more than I. That or time could reveal some interesting things. You could turn out to be as horrid as your friends are."

"What is your problem? Do you think I want to listen to you going on about how much you hate my friends? Is that why you came here? If it is… I suggest you _leave._"

Snape frowned. "I wouldn't go on about it so much if I didn't have a reason."

"What reason do you have, now?"

"You haven't heard? Hum… I'm sure you would have by now, as they like to brag about their attempts, and I use the word 'attempts' strongly…" Lupin sighed and sunk back into his seat as Snape told him about "Potters' attempt at Transfiguration" It turned out that James had cast out a hex to change Snape into a bag of candy corn. Instead, James' wand shot out candy corn at such an extreme rate that it covered the entire classroom floor, an inch thick. "He had to spend the rest of the afternoon cleaning up the candy from the floor, _without_ magic. I was able to stop in to watch after next class for a moment, before McGonagall shooed me off. But watching him was quite satisfying. You _must_ ask Potter about his fixation on candy corn. It must be rather distracting for him." The boy smirked and let out a small laugh. If Lupin wasn't so mad he would have laughed at Snape's comment as well.

"He's sore about that party favour incident, you know."

"As am I. Potter wasn't the only one mistreated."

"I know." He whispered, feeling very ashamed.

"You don't have to feel ashamed. I know you didn't have anything to do with it." Snape leaned in. "However, you shouldn't have let that arse sign your name on his letter."

"I can't change their view on you, Severus." He blushed at saying the boy's first name. He hadn't meant to. Snape flinched as well, but did not mention the slip. "As far as I'm concerned, you give them reason to make them want to do things to you."

"How so? By existing? That's the only thing I can think of that I've done. They started it, you know."

"Maybe you could ignore them from now on?"

"Are you asking me to 'turn the other cheek'?"

Yes! And no. He really didn't know what to tell Snape. How could you tell Snape to be less… Snapish? And what was so horrible about being Snape anyway? The other three could get along with him as Lupin was getting along with him right now. Well, trying to get along with him, anyway.

"Of course you have to defend yourself, but…" He admitted.

"Well, that's all that I'm doing."

"I know."

"You'd like for all of us to get along, wouldn't you?" Snape sighed. "Wouldn't that be lovely? Remus Lupin, the dreamer. Because that's all it really is, Lupin, a dream."

"You and I get along." Lupin pouted.

"That's because you aren't James Potter or Sirius Black. Two spoiled brats. Spoiled rotten."

_"I wouldn't trust him. Not one bit. Especially if you're not one of his pureblood friends. Even then, I wouldn't trust him."_

_"He doesn't really have any friends." Lupin said sadly._

_"No, I don't imagine he does. He would only associate with a pureblood, though. I've heard him talking in class with one of his fellow Slytherins. He was commenting on Lily being muggle-born. He didn't look too happy about it. Actually, he seemed quite repulsed."_

"Yes, but they're pureblood. I thought that was your type."

"I don't have a _type_. I happen to think that purebloods are superior wizards as compared to _others_…"

"Hum. I see. So, you are superior to say… Lily Evans?"

"Where are you going with this, Lupin?"

"Well, you say that they don't have a reason to do anything to you. Well, just look at the way you carry yourself. First off, you have no respect for your fellow classmates whatsoever… especially not purebloods. Second, you think you're better than everyone else. Third…"

"Hmph. Well, I imagine they should go after the entire Slytherin house, then. That seems to be a popular attitude in our house, you know. Or don't you? Just because I don't put my friends before myself like a Gryffindor doesn't mean that I'm an evil person."

"If you say so, Snape. But it seems like you're not so popular in your own house, either."

Snape frowned at Lupin's observation. Lupin felt horrible, at once, for mentioning the fact that Snape had no friends. In fact, if he had opened his mouth he would have told him that he would be his friend if he wasn't so… caustic. "Right. I see you're one up on me."

"I didn't mean it like that."

"You did. You can admit it. I won't hate you any _more_."

Lupin thought that Snape might have left the table after that comment, but the boy sitting in front of him remained calm. He flipped through the pages of the book as if nothing fazed him. Lupin, on the other hand, was growing angry at Snape's calmness. _You can't just make a comment like that and remain so calm, _he thought. But he was proven wrong.

The two boys sat in silence, as neither one wanted to let the other know that they had been affected. Getting up from the table would be a sign of defeat and neither boy wanted that either. They did not move from their places until it was announced that the library would be closing. Lupin gathered his essay (which was only a few inches longer from where he left off when Snape joined him) and Potions book and despite what had happened, wished Snape a good evening.

"You don't have to be nice to me, Lupin. It's obvious where your loyalties lie." Snape said, after being surprised.

"No, I suppose I don't have to be. But whether you like it or not, I'm going to continue to be nice to you. And for some reason I think you might hate that more than the things James and Sirius do to you!"

Snape opened his mouth to speak, but he didn't know how to react. Lupin stayed for a moment, thinking that some sort of sarcastic response would follow. But it didn't.

"Good night, Remus." And with that, Lupin left the library.

* * *

The next evening in the library seemed to go by rather slowly for Lupin. He was able to finish his Potion's essay in a short amount of time, due to the quiet and the absence of distractions (namely, Snape) and found himself looking out at the room but at nothing in particular. He had on his mind James Potter's "attack" on Snape. He could imagine it as clearly as if he had actually been in the room himself. James had not yet mentioned it to him, which made him believe that it might have been some sort of way to get back at Snape for following them that night… but he was curious to know why he had chosen candy corn as a source for the hex. Lupin giggled at Snape's comment on Potter's "fixation", the only time it was safe for him to giggle about it, as he was not in the company of his friends _or _Snape.

He did regain focus, however, as soon as he saw Lily Evans enter the library. She had a word with the librarian, and from behind the counter, the librarian took out a book and handed it to Lily, most likely a book that was put on reserve. He could not see her initial reaction, but once she turned around, the smile on her face softened and she poked around the room a bit to try to find a seat. When she noticed Lupin, she smiled when she recognized the familiar face and walked quickly over to his table.

"Mind if I take a seat?" She stood behind the chair until she heard a yes or no.

"Go ahead. I was just finishing up my Potion's essay."

She placed the book on the table and then sat down. "Finished that yesterday." She smiled. She picked the book up with both hands and stared down at the cover. "I've been waiting for this to come. I had it put on reserve so I'd be the first one here to read it."

"What book is that?" Lupin asked, curiously (if it was not obvious that she wanted him to ask).

"_Muggles who Notice._" She smiled and held up the book for Lupin to see. "By Bleinheim Stalk. The Muggle Studies professor mentioned it for suggested reading for the course. I'm not in the course yet, of course, but it's so interesting to see what wizards think of Muggle culture."

"Sounds interesting."

"And it was just published! Some of the older texts on Muggle living are way outdated. In this book, it goes on about modern people and modern cases from the Ministry of Magic. I can't wait to dig into it! I thought I'd come here to read at least the first chapter. Forget about trying to read anything in the common room. I suppose that's why you're here, then, Remus?"

"Yes. Gryffindor house is particularly noisy tonight."

"Everyone is getting anxious for the holidays, I suppose. Though, they should be a little more respectful for people who want to get some studying done. Despite what they think, school still goes on even if Christmas is little over three weeks away. Are you going home for the holidays?"

"I am. What about yourself?"

"Yes! I'm particularly glad to be going home, too. A few weeks at home should definitely clear my constant headaches. And by constant headaches, I mean James Potter and Sirius Black."

Lupin laughed. "They seem to be the source of many headaches lately."

"They do, don't they? Well, thank Merlin they're leaving for the holidays as well. I don't know what Hogwarts would do if they were released on the building with no formal schedule. All the freedom might go to their heads." She was focusing on Lupin a little more than he would have liked. He felt a slight heat rush to his cheeks, but that was before he could hide them. She had to have noticed his blush. She blushed herself. "I'm sorry. I'm going on about idiots and we're here in a library supposed to be studying or something."

"Oh. It's all right. If you look around, not many people are studying at all."

"Funny, that. Oh well." She laughed. "How's your Potions essay coming along?"

"Just finished. I tried to get it done last night, but I was interrupted."

"At least you got it done before I interrupted _you._" At that they both laughed. "Are you heading back soon? All of a sudden I don't feel like starting this book. Not just yet."

Lupin had planned on staying until close, yet again, but since Lily had plainly offered to walk with him back to Gryffindor he had to reconsider. "Yeah. Why don't we head back, then?" He stuffed everything back into his sack and followed Lily out of the library.

"I must admit, the library is much more tolerable at this time. I don't blame you for wanting to come at this hour. I might have to start, as well." Lily was walking at a leisurely pace. She had interrupted the silence that had followed them halfway to their dorm.

"You should." He said, now wanting to cover his mouth to stop things like that from coming out. Looking at the side of her face, he saw a smile start.

"Well, let me know when you go. We can go together. I mean, if you'd like."

"Yes, I'd like that." He admitted.

"If you feel the need to bring your friends, though, you will have to count me out. Well, I'll make an exception for Peter, but not for the other two. If they're going to be there, I might as well stay in the bloody common room."

"All right." And with that, they entered Gryffindor. James was the only one who noticed them enter, of course, and watched as Lily said a friendly goodnight to Lupin and walked to her bedroom without addressing any one else. When Lupin joined his friends, James did not say a word. Lupin tried to read the reaction on his friend's face, but it was difficult. If he read into it too much, he might think that James was jealous for Lupin's interaction with Lily, but it just might be that the boy was tired. _Yes_, Lupin thought, _he's just tired.  
_

* * *

Either James did not know about his and Lily's evenings shared in the library or he just didn't say anything about the matter. James had, for the most part, stopped talking about Lily as often as he had been. He could attribute that to James being around Sirius more than anyone else, now. But maybe he did not fancy the girl any longer. It was possible. Lily had grown a bit more vocal about her dislike of James and Sirius (especially James since it seemed she couldn't blame Sirius for his behaviour, "He's just Sirius". But James she was particularly hard on since "He follows Sirius around like a lost pup.") James was not deaf to these comments, but was not too quick on defending himself. Which again, led Lupin to believe that he did still fancy her. Anyone else and they'd get a mouthful of sarcasm, not to mention a hex. He would often catch James sneaking a glance over her way at the Gryffindor table during meals and during class, when seating assignments would allow.

It was because of this that he felt ashamed every time he met Lily. Not only because he didn't tell James about it but because he was beginning to fancy her as well. It wasn't hard to do. She was awfully pretty, maybe not in a conventional sense, but when was Lupin ever conventional? And, as James was known to bring up often, she was the smartest girl in the class and it wasn't difficult to find that attractive, if not admirable.

It was difficult, harbouring these feelings without anyone to share with. Even if he didn't happen to like the same girl as his mate did, whom could he talk to about it without being ridiculed? Liking a girl did not come into casual conversation amongst boys. If he had been a girl, liking a boy, the topic would have been welcome with open arms. Often he wondered if that was all girls talked about at this age. Even when they weren't talking about how much they liked a boy, they were, like Lily, talking about how much they hated a boy --- which at their age could likely mean fancying him just as much. How long would this confusion last? At what point would conversations between girls and boys reach a similar ground?

He did not worry about this with Lily, however. If all girls were able to relate with him as Lily did, perhaps it would be easier to speak with them. Perhaps if boys his age were able to do the same thing it would be easier to speak with them as well. Lily seemed to be the exception out of everyone, and perhaps that was the reason he liked her so much.

Every night they would meet, he would look around for his friends, making sure that they weren't following. They knew that he went to the library, just not who he met while he was there. He didn't know which would be worse, if they found him with Lily or Snape. But they never showed. They were more likely to go to the library during the day to check out books. They were still doing their research on Anamagi, despite Lupin's pleas to drop the idea.

Sirius was completely absorbed in it, as were James and Peter. They would often show Lupin their notes. He would skim over their notes and find that they were, in fact, doing a serious amount of research. While he remained cross at them for their continuation, he couldn't help but feel special that the purpose of this research was for his better. Knowing that, he found it difficult to yell at them even more than he had, and eventually he would grow tired at yelling and being cross with them. If anything, it was teaching them something and furthering their wizardry skills and he couldn't argue with that. They were also doing a very good job in disguising their research as studying in front of other students or staff. Although, he wasn't sure how it got past certain staff members as they clearly had to see what books they were taking from the library or reading in class when they should be focusing on the lecture. By now, though, James and Sirius should have been expelled from Hogwarts entirely.

He laughed at this thought, though not at them being expelled… just the fact that they should be because they were horrible. But they were a good kind of horrible, if such a thing existed.

"You look cheerful tonight." Snape had appeared out of nowhere, it seemed.

"Do I? Forgive me." Lupin laughed once more.

"It's quite all right to be cheerful."

"You should try it some time, then."

Snape looked around. "Where's that girl? Is she with you tonight?"

"Lily? No. I'm here alone tonight… that's if you don't decide to join me."

Snape seemed surprised by the invitation. "As long as she isn't expected to come, or any of the others you decide to spend your time with."

"No. I scared them off when I told them you come talk to me here."

"Really?" The boy's eyes widened. He looked as if sitting down was not such a good idea after all.

"No. No." Lupin laughed again. "I'm only joking. If they knew you were here, don't you think they'd be here attempting to catch you?"

"I wouldn't know. They've been quiet lately. I don't know what to expect from them now. They must be planning something grand. Tell me what you know so that I can prepare myself." Snape looked serious.

"I don't know anything. Well, I shouldn't say that. I know that they aren't scheming against you."

"I find that hard to believe."

"Rest assured, they still hate you just the same."

"Oh, great! I wouldn't want them liking me or anything." Snape laughed, for once.

"As I said, you don't have to worry about that. So, what brings you here to the library?"

"What brings me here any night? I can't tolerate to spend my waking hours in the same place as my dorm mates. I can't tolerate to spend my sleeping hours in the same place, either, but unfortunate for me there aren't any beds anywhere else but there and in the hospital wing. And I don't like that place it smells like sick people and medicines."

"You could always beg Dumbledore to switch you into another house. I hear Gryffindor second years have a great set up." He could tell that Snape wanted to be angry at his comment, but instead the boy smirked.

"I'd rather be in Hufflepuff. Wait, did I just say that?"

"I think you did. Severus Snape, Hufflepuff, says the sorting hat."

Snape shivered. "Don't go frightening me like that, Lupin."

"Do nice wizards scare you, then?"

"They do have certain frightening qualities." The two boys laughed.

"I know, being nice is so awful." Lupin faked a frown.

"It doesn't get you anywhere, being nice."

"Says the Slytherin."

"Well, it's true. Where has being nice brought you, Lupin? Alone in the library, speaking to the only person you can be honest with? WHICH happens to be the person you're most supposed to hate? Sounds like a great place to be."

"One can say the same for being mean. I think that we're both in the same predicament."

"Not entirely, but close. I, for one, plan on bettering my situation."

"How's that?"

"Well, by becoming a very powerful wizard, of course. You could too, yourself, if your friends weren't holding you back. And there's the whole being sorted into Gryffindor as well. If anyone should request a change of house, it should be you."

"Where would you have me sorted, Snape? Surely not Slytherin?"

"Maybe not. How about Ravenclaw, though? They hold intelligence up a bit higher than Gryffindor does."

"I happen to like my house."

"If you say so."

"I do say so." Lupin didn't sound so sure of himself and he had the feeling that Snape caught on to that as well. The boy laughed at his comment.

"Very well." Snape shook his head. "Are you going home for the holidays?"

"I am."

"I was thinking of staying. It will be a refreshing change witnessing a quiet Hogwarts."

"You don't wish to go home?"

"Not particularly. Besides, my family isn't that much into the holidays. Christmas is quite like any other day of the year." Snape's expression saddened.

"I'm sorry to hear that. We don't do very much for the holiday either, since we're not very wealthy, but we do what we can to make the day a little more special than the rest. It's up to you, really, how you make the day."

Snape nodded, but already Lupin could see that he would not be taking his advice. He felt really horrible about the way people treated Snape. It seemed like his family life, same as school-life, was unsatisfying as well. But, as he said, it was all up to the person to make things better for himself.

Perhaps he should take his own advice.

* * *

**Reviewers/Readers**: You make me smile. Thank you. I'm thinking about continuing this story up until Christmas (which in the story is a couple of weeks away) and then starting another that will take place three years later, in their fifth year. I'm not certain how that is going to work out, but I feel like there is little else to do with this story and it needs a change of scenery. What do you think? 


	10. Chapter Ten

Disclaimer on first page (first chapter).  
**A/N: Revision of the chapter, added part at the very end.  
**

* * *

**_Oh Dreaded Night! _****  
Chapter Ten******

Sirius had fallen asleep. His head, in addition to being pressed against the book he was once reading, was at the foot of his bed. A bead of drool slipped from his open mouth and splashed onto the open page. It was what Lupin called a typical late afternoon-Sunday-Sirius. He blamed Sirius' exhaustion on James' love for Quidditch. If James hadn't wakened them at such an early hour, Sirius might be his usual awake self, but indeed, James had cut off their already short sleep time (with much protest, even from Sirius whose love for Quidditch might rival James'). The boys had only gone to sleep three hours earlier. Saturday nights were often reserved for staying up much too late (or early, depending on how you viewed it).

Lupin blamed it on the sugar content of all the chocolate they digested. However, it could have been that they weren't able to calm themselves down after discussing their ultimate plan: covering the great hall in a great hill of snow and having toboggan racing tournaments. While Lupin favoured a non-enchanted toboggan, the other three argued that the sled needed to be enchanted so that one could ride _up_ the hill as well as down. Or, if they couldn't steer the sled upwards, something akin to a ski lift would have to be installed in the room, as the hill would be far too steep to climb back up time after time. Other winter games included a contest for the best Snape look-alike snowman (which wouldn't be hard to accomplish because "Snape is even colder than snow") and a house-against-house snowball fight up in the air, on their brooms. And as refreshments, Bertie Botts would serve every flavour snow cones and everyone would avoid the yellow ones.

Peter gave a funny description of Dumbledore sliding down the hill with snow cone in hand, finding that he again picked a vomit flavoured treat (he told his Bertie Botts story to each Hogwarts attendee at least by their second year) and skidding off course and crash landing upside down, feet sticking up out of the snow. James added that he might knock down several Snape-men in the process. Sirius added that he might knock down Snape-men as well as Snape himself, vomit-flavoured snow cone knocked out of Dumbledore's hand, landing in the boy's mouth. Lupin pointed out, however, that Snape was the least likely person to attend, since he was not one for "social events", and while he might not have attacked his friend, he certainly did not defend him. After this realization surfaced, Lupin felt ill for the rest of the evening. The only thing that saved him the least bit was that no matter what he'd say to these three about how bad Snape actually _wasn't_ – they wouldn't believe him. So maybe it was right in keeping his mouth shut.

The feeling had not disappeared yet, and it was now afternoon, and he might want to talk about this with Sirius but maybe it was a good thing after all that he was asleep. He knew this couldn't compare to the secret he kept about his own condition, but it was one of those things that was just as difficult to speak about. Snape. Perhaps the boys would just find out about his friendship with Snape and he wouldn't have to explain anything. Maybe they would be just as accepting. They had to be. Surely being friends with Snape isn't as bad as their friend being a werewolf. Or was it? The boys seemed fickle when it came to this sort of thing. They might become Animagi to help Lupin in future transformations, but how might they help him through the duration of his and Snape's friendship? By staying away? By becoming friends with him, too? By completely forfeiting their friendship with Lupin because of it? Could Lupin take that chance?

He watched Sirius sleeping for a few moments longer and then hurried out of the room and into the common room. James and Peter were playing a game of chess. Two fifth-years, a boy and a girl, were snuggled together on a large comfy chair, shamefully flirting by pulling each other's hair and gazing into each other's eyes. Two third-years were watching latter mentioned couple and were snickering. Lily was rolling her eyes, which were now away from her book about Muggles, either at the third-years or fifth-years – it was hard to tell, or perhaps it was both. She did notice Lupin, though, and motioned him to come over. He looked to James, who seemed to be too deep into thought on his next move to notice Lupin join Lily (who was sitting at the couch). Although, once he did reach Lily, he saw James out of the corner of his eye watching him.

"'Lo Remus."

"Hello there, Lily." He looked to James and Peter. Peter smiled, but James kept a straight face and returned to concentrating on his next move. Remus smiled back.

"You look tired. Up all night with your mates scheming something new?" She winked.

"Nah. Nothing like that."

"Hmmm. I hope it was a good enough discussion, then, to keep you up to all hours and lose sleep over."

Lupin smiled. "I guess it was."

"No loss then." She patted the seat next to her to invite him to sit. He hesitated for a moment, as he didn't want to remain standing there like an idiot.

"No, none at all."

There was a pause for a moment between them. Peter shouted behind them, "I win!"

James mumbled, "Good game." And stood up from the board and made his way back to his bedroom, head lowered.

Lily looked behind them. "Good job, Peter!"

Peter beamed. "It's the first time I beat James!"

"I find that hard to believe." Lily said without sarcasm.

Peter walked up to the couch, leaning over to rest over the back of the couch and to be closer to Lily and Lupin. "How is it hard to believe? Haven't you ever seen his marks?"

"I have seen them. However, I'm not one to believe that marks completely dictate one's intelligence. In some cases, good marks in class show the capability of memorization of facts. A chimpanzee could do just as well in that case."

Peter laughed at Lily's mention of "chimpanzee". "Oh, hello James."

Apparently, James had come back (or maybe never made it back to his room). James nodded at his friend, but it looked like he was barely able to speak. His face turned the reddest Lupin had seen since Snape turned James' tongue into a party favor. By the shade of red, Lupin could only guess that that prank was even less embarrassing than being compared to a chimpanzee. He turned to Lily, who was staring at James, rather unapologetically. He wanted to nudge her, so that she might say something, but the two just stared at each other. Lupin closed his eyes…

"Remus, why don't we go down to the library?" She finally spoke.

"I… uh…" Lily grabbed Lupin's arm and pulled him off the couch with her. He was being taken for a walk against his will. He couldn't even stutter out another word, her fingers dug into his skin so deep. She finally let go as they were heading down the stairs.

"I'm sorry, Remus." She looked down at his arm, her handprint beginning to show. "I just… he was standing there like a complete idiot staring at me. What is his problem?"

"I think he just wanted to join in the conversation." He rubbed his arm.

"Serves him right for just standing there without letting us know he was there. I might not have compared him to a chimpanzee if I knew he was still there. Although," she laughed, "maybe I would."

"He might not show it, but I think he just wants to be friends with you."

She considered the possibility for a moment. "Friends? With me? I don't think so, Remus."

"He does! He never has a bad word to say about you. In fact, just the other day, he was saying how you're the smartest girl in our class."

She smiled, but she quickly hid it. "Well, that's not exactly a compliment. It doesn't have to be, anyway. He could just be stating a fact. Er, I don't mean to say that I'm the smartest girl in our class, but…"

"But you are."

She blushed. "You're the smartest boy in our class," she whispered.

"That's not the point, Lily. Thank you, but that's not where I meant to go with this conversation. I think you should consider James as a potential friend, not a potential enemy. I know that he and Sirius can seem… immature… but really, I wouldn't be friends with them if they were as awful as you make them out to be."

"I don't know, Remus. They're awful to some of the girls in the class. Well, they're awful to everyone really; do you see how they treat poor Snape? I mean, I'm a not friend with the boy, but no one should be picked on as much as they pick on him. Aren't you friends with Snape? I… see you with him sometimes in the library. It's nice that you talk to him. I wouldn't, but it's nice that he has someone to talk to, nevertheless. Couldn't you say something to them? Don't they know that he's your friend?"

"Well… they don't exactly know that I speak with him. I'm not quite sure how they'd react. James and Sev—Snape… they're quite beyond repair at this point."

"But that's my point, Remus! They're going on as if they were six year-olds. If Snape doesn't have the sense to end it, you'd think James would. But he doesn't. Sirius only pushes him even further… I wonder sometimes if James does half of what he does because of Sirius. The boy has to be an awful influence on anyone he meets. Even Peter seems a little full of himself these days. I'm not sure what his influence is on you… other than keeping you from saying anything no matter what."

While Lupin couldn't argue with any of the points she had to make, he couldn't exactly bring up the fact that his friends were also very caring and understanding. Bringing up that fact would bring a few things out in the open that he was not at liberty to discuss. Even if Lily didn't press the matter, it would leave her curious as to why these seemingly careless and immature boys would care for their friend so much and for what reasons. But he wanted to. He wanted to point out all that they were doing for him. He wanted to point out that they loved him despite his great great fault. All he could say was that if she got to know them better, she would most likely get along with them.

"I doubt that. I know more about them than I want to know. We're in the same house; that's enough for me." They entered the library. Their choice of seating was limited to two tables: one that seated a group of Ravenclaws who seemed to be in a heated debate and one that sat a few scattered Slytherins and one Severus Snape. "Do you want to sit by Snape?"

"We don't have to. It's up to you where you want to sit. After all, you dragged me here." Snape noticed Remus, but noticed Lily with him as well. Instead of acknowledging him even further, Snape went back to writing on his parchment, which seemed to curl in an unusually long amount (for the History of Magic essay they were assigned for the weekend, anyway). Lupin sighed.

"Oh. Yes, sorry about that. I just needed to get out of there in a hurry. You might have decided to stick around with your mates instead, and well… I just wouldn't have that." She laughed. Lupin laughed as well. _At least she apologized. _As if he read her mind, they both headed over to the Ravenclaw table without a word.

They sat quietly, listening to the debate (which so happened to be about the topic of Lily's recent read). Lily had turned to watch the other students as they argued on, occasionally opening her own mouth as if she were about to speak but never did. Lupin watched the students when he wasn't looking at Lily or turning to see if Snape was still in the library. The boy remained, writing furiously on his ever-curling parchment, like a boy possessed. Lupin didn't know whether to find his friend's expression disturbing or funny, but he did left a smirk slip.

From behind him, he heard familiar voices. He didn't know whether his friends noticed him or not (his back was turned to them) but they didn't acknowledge him, either. Sirius moaned, "The only seats available are by Snape. You woke me up to sit next to Snape? I'm out of here."

James protested. "If he doesn't like us there, he can leave."

"Very well."

A moment later, Remus felt a piece of parchment brush against the back of his head, as well as the wind of someone leaving in a hurry. He could only guess it was Snape rushing to leave the library at the sight of the Gryffindor boys. He looked over to where Snape was once sitting and sure enough, the seat was empty. James sat in the chair next to the former sitting place of Snape and Sirius sat across from him, back turned to Lupin and head rested on the table as if he couldn't keep it lifted for very long. James stared back at Lupin without a smile or wave. Lupin knew he had to go over there and sort things out.

He tapped Lily's arm and she barely noticed, as she was so concentrated on the debate, still going strong. He said he'd be right back, and she nodded. He wondered if what he said she had actually heard, but decided to leave without another word in any case. He walked over to James and Sirius. He took the chair next to Sirius, who didn't move at the disturbance, as he was probably fast asleep again.

"What's her problem?" James was quick to say. He was watching Lily, still.

"Well, she's under the impression that you wouldn't want to be friends with her. Where would she get that impression from?"

Sirius lifted his head to turn it towards Lupin. "Who would want to be friends with her? No one said we wanted to be friends with her," Sirius spoke angrily.

"Actually, I do… want to be her friend." James admitted, shyly.

Sirius brought his head up to look at his friend. "Are you mad? Be friends… with Evans? Lily 'I'm-a-Muggle-and-everyone-needs-to-know-so-whether-they-like-it-or-not' Evans?"

"Yes," James whispered.

Sirius lifted his hand to James' forehead. "You feeling all right, Potter?"

James pushed his friend away. "I'm just fine. Let's just drop it. Please?"

A smirk appeared on Sirius' once tired face. "Oh, no. We will not drop it. I must find out the reason behind wanting to become Lily Evan's friend. Maybe you want to do better in class? You're a smart enough bloke I don't know why you could possibly… Or wait! Ha! You _fancy _her, don't you?"

"I do not!!" James' face burned red.

"You do. James Potter loves Lily Evans!" Sirius shouted over the already quieted conversation of the library.

"Sirius!"

Anyone who knew the two people mentioned by Sirius' outburst turned to look at James and then at Lily. The entire group of Ravenclaws dropped their argument and looked at the embarrassed girl at their table and snickered. Lily, completely horrified, ran out of the library and Lupin, not knowing who it was best to comfort first, ran after her.

"Lily! _Lily!_"

Lily stopped her run halfway down the hall. She waited for Lupin to catch up with her. She didn't say a word, most likely because she was too embarrassed to even speak. They continued to walk, heading nowhere in particular, Lupin to follow her wherever she decided to go and hide.

Once they approached the Great Hall, she allowed herself to speak once, before bursting into tears, "I hate Sirius Black! But most of all I hate James Potter! I hate James Potter most of all!" Lupin didn't know why he was gravitating towards Lily, but he didn't stop himself. He wrapped his arms around her, and she gave into him, sobbing on his shoulder. He didn't know how to react other than pat her back and to lean his head onto hers. But when the realization that he too fancied her, maybe not quite as much as James did, but a good amount nonetheless, hit him, he all of a sudden wished that he didn't embrace her to console her. In fact, he became so nervous that he felt he might be sick at any moment. But the girl continued to cry and he continued to be the shoulder that she would cry on as long as she was crying. All he knew at this point was that he didn't like the sound of her crying… even if it was over something as small as this… her cries made him horribly upset. He wanted to make her feel better. What makes him feel better?

"Lily?"

"Yes?" She said in between sobs.

"Can I take you back to your room?"

"I don't know if I want to go back just yet."

"Well, let me know when you do want to. I have some chocolate upstairs that might make you feel a bit better."

"Chocolate?" She lifted her head and looked at Lupin with the saddest eyes, but containing that smallest amount of hope at the sound of that magical word, chocolate.

"Yup. All you can stomach."

"I hope you have a lot, then." She sniffed.

"Don't worry, I've got an excellent stash." He smiled, hoping it would make her do the same. And it did.

* * *

Sunday evenings normally weren't this quiet in the second-year Gryffindor bedroom. Lupin had just returned from handing Lily a good portion of his chocolate stash. He was sad to see that much chocolate leave him at once, but he knew it was going to a good cause. He nearly blushed again at the thought of Lily telling him that he was "so sweet". He tried not to make it too obvious, although he couldn't get rid of the grin on his face even if he tried.

James was lying in bed, facing away from Peter and Sirius (although Peter did nothing). His face was half buried in his pillow, when Lupin first entered, and then moved even deeper into the pillow once Lupin was half across the room. Sirius was asleep, again. Or, at least pretending to be. Lupin was convinced it was the latter, as the boy's eyes looked as if they would open at any moment if someone began to speak. Peter looked to be finishing his homework, oblivious to what was going on, still soaking in the victory of his latest chess game. He wasn't one to go on endlessly about such things, but the smile on his face, especially while doing homework, was easy enough to figure out.

Lupin placed his half piece of chocolate on his nightstand, and without giving it much of a thought, took out his lunar charts. The full moon was little over a week away; a fact that he already knew but again needed to check on. In another habitual movement, he reached for his chocolate and began nibbling at the small piece as if he was nervous. He wasn't exactly nervous, not more than he was wishing the full moon would go away this month. (As if he didn't hope this any other month.) Becoming closer to Lily and Severus only meant two more people that he had to hide his condition from. Perhaps this was what was making him nervous. Didn't Snape ask about his whereabouts last month? There would be no doubt that Lily might ask one of his friends as well… and now that they knew… now that they truly knew where he was… would they be able to keep the secret just as well as he had been able to do? Would Snape or Lily become equally as curious as his other friends and attempt to follow him? Snape certainly had the potential for that. He was caught in the act, in fact. Lupin took another piece of chocolate. He stared down at the chart as if he might burn a whole through the parchment.

Sirius let out a snore. Either the boy had been sleeping earlier, or he had finally fallen asleep with nothing else to do. Lupin couldn't blame Sirius for his outburst. Upon finding out about the girl that his best mate fancies, anyone might have the same reaction. James would continue to deny it, especially because of that remark, but it was only a matter of how long he could continue to. After today, it seemed useless. A good fraction of the school had heard it in the library and would, without a doubt, spread the word to anyone who would hear it. Romances at Hogwarts, or potential ones, were always a good subject of gossip. It didn't matter who they were or how ridiculous it sounded, word always spread like wildfire. James probably knew this. That was probably why his head was buried in his pillow like it was. He knew that James wouldn't stay that mad at his friend for that long. He gave it until tomorrow morning before they would be talking to each other again. It might even be as early as later on tonight (if anyone was awake at that point) that they would be talking and laughing and plotting something with each other. But for now, things were quiet. He shouldn't be complaining.

In fact, now was the perfect time to put in an order for Christmas presents for his friends. He had a very limited amount that he could spend, but he absolutely had to get something for his friends for the holiday… every one of them. He took out his owl order catalogue and flipped through the pages, wishing he had more money to get his friends better presents than he could afford. _But it's the thought that counts, right?_ He would need to convince himself a little better than that.

* * *

"You never told me you were into Mudbloods, Potter." A rather smug Severus Snape approached his shared desk with James. Lupin had not yet left James' side, as his friend was showing, from a catalogue, what he planned to get Peter for Christmas.

"Stuff it, Snivellus." James barely looked up from the catalogue.

"I find it endearing… it's as if you've taken pity on the poor girl, by fancying her."

"I do not fancy her!" He continued to deny it.

"You don't have to deny it. The entire school knows by now, thanks to your friend Black's large mouth."

"There's no denying he has a large mouth," James spat. He had not gotten over Sirius' outburst just yet. "But I do not fancy the girl. Kindly shut your mouth at any future comments about it. I'm not in the mood to get in trouble over you today, and I swear if you don't keep it shut I'll turn you into something so horrible – even for yourself."

"It won't be candy corn, will it?"

* * *

"So… when it came time for Snape to hand in his assignment he burst out, 'Potter ate my essay!' Oh, I don't know what was funnier, Snape's excuse or the expression on McGonagall's face of pure disbelief."

"She really doesn't like Snape, does she?" Sirius laughed.

"I don't think so. At least, she makes it seem like she doesn't. But she gives everyone an equally difficult time in that class. At least she's fair in that respect. Well, aside from the fact that she takes more points away from her own house than from any other one. What in Merlin is that about?"

"So, what did it taste like?" Peter asked, completely disregarding the comments about Professor McGonagall.

"It looked like a candy corn, felt like a candy corn, but sadly it tasted like parchment… with a hint of ink."

Lupin laughed and asked, "How do you know what parchment tastes like?" His friend blushed.

* * *

"Snape. Leave." James had come up to the table that Lupin and Snape were sharing in the library. Snape appeared to be rewriting his Transfiguration essay and Lupin had an open History of Magic textbook in front of him. Otherwise, there seemed to be no signs that the boys had even spoken to each other, let alone bothered one another.

"I was sitting here…" Snape hissed back. He held onto his parchment as if he was protected it from James.

"I don't care. You're bothering my friend. Now leave." James would not sit down until he knew that Snape was out of his site. He probably wouldn't stop bothering him until he was out of his site, as well. He added, "I don't care where you sit as long as it's not here. As a matter of fact, it would probably be best if you left the library all together."

"He wasn't…" Lupin started, but Snape interrupted.

"It's all right, Lupin, no use in getting through to his thick skull. I'll leave." Snape left the table quickly.

James quickly forgot about the person once sitting there. He sat down next to Lupin and immediately asked, "How is she? How is… Lily? Is she okay? Did you make sure she was okay when you left us?" He asked this as if it had been bothering him all day long.

"I think that's she's all right. Horribly embarrassed, and rightly so." He turned to follow Snape out of the room, when all Snape did was change tables. He sighed and returned to following James' eager questions.

"Sirius is such an idiot! Why did he have to go and do that?" James looked upset.

"Why is this bothering you so much if you don't fancy her? Just get on with things. Worse things have happened and you haven't let them effect you as much as this."

"That's true. But… ever since Sirius let those words out I've been thinking. Maybe I really do fancy her. Maybe that's why I've been letting it bother me." Lupin was astonished at James' confession. He had known all along, really, but he didn't think that James would admit to it so soon. He smiled, and was just about to comment on his friend's confession when an arm reached out between James and Lupin. It was Snape.

"Sorry, forgot my quill. Must say I came back at just the right time, though… just in time to see how thick James Potter really is. Admitting the obvious…" Snape snatched his quill from the table. "Really Potter," he said rather loudly, "You shouldn't go about the school denying your feelings for Lily Evans when you're really fond of her."

James jumped from his seat and pulled out his wand, face to face with Snape who was also pointing his wand at the other boy. Lupin jumped up just as quickly and attempted to separate the two by getting directly in the middle. He faced Snape and angrily mouthed the word, "_Leave."_ After the boy backed away, frightened, Lupin then faced James, holding back the urge to push James into the table. There was two things holding him back from actually touching James: the fact that they now had an audience and the look of terror on James' face. James followed Snape in exiting the library, which left Lupin by himself despite the onlookers. He didn't know whether to sit back down as if nothing had happened or to gather his things and leave the library just as quickly as his friends did. He didn't know where he would go though, as he had a bad feeling that he just spooked and frightened away two of his friends. Although, how he did, he didn't know.

* * *

"I know the wolf can't jump out of you at any time, but in that moment I thought it might." James tried to explain.

"I admit I was rather upset," was all he could say at this point. He didn't let James know, but he was actually furious with his friend. He was upset that Snape could elicit such a response from James (always ready to stick his wand in the boy's face). He was confused as to why Snape could elicit such a response from himself, as he was ready to protect Snape as he would any of his other friends. He was embarrassed that James had seen this side of him, but he had the feeling that James really didn't notice, or if he did notice, he just did not care. Lupin thought it might be the latter, as James did not seem to care to split Lupin and Snape up as they were very obviously sitting together.

"You should just let _me_ handle Snape from now on. I think he's getting the impression that you're his friend, or something."

"Well…"

"What, were you studying together?" James asked, suspiciously.

"We do, sometimes."

"You do? I hope it's Potions you're studying, at least that is where he seems to exceed."

"He does exceed at Potions."

"Ugh. Well, I don't see how you could sit at the same table as him." James looked revolted. "I don't think I'd sit there if it was the last seat available in the room. I'd rather stand or sit on the floor." What Lupin wanted to say was, _Sorry you feel that way._ But he only considered what James had to say for a moment and nodded. "Besides," James continued, "He only left his quill at the table so that he could come back for it and sneak in our conversation."

That much, Lupin thought, was true. He didn't blame for James getting upset for him at that, or for the words said to James. Snape knew by now that Lily was a tender subject for James at this point in time. He had purposely said those words to get James upset. But what he didn't understand was the reason he bothered to do this in front of Lupin. Did he want a response from Lupin as well? Did Snape get the response that he was looking for?

"You'd like for all of us to get along, wouldn't you? Wouldn't that be lovely? Remus Lupin, the dreamer. Because that's all it really is, Lupin, a dream."

He looked to James and knew by the look of disgust on his face that peace amongst the boys would not be possible. Although James continued to remark upon how much he hated Snape and how much Snape was out to make his life miserable, Lupin disguised his face to make it seem like he was actually listening and agreeing with his friend. When really, he was counting down the days until he could have a few weeks peace at home away from his friends, away from everyone.

* * *

**  
Reviewers/Readers**: I have decided that this story will go on for two more chapters (or three, depending how I plan to end this). At least, I think that's what is going to happen. I really think that I can go no further with this story. I have developed whom and what I wanted to and there's nothing left to do but let time takes its course. I hope to start a fic focusing on later years of Hogwarts. I also have a shorter fiction in the works, which might come some time before the next full story. **The Thief Kuronue: **Snape is rather likable in this fic, I think, even when he is being annoying and hopelessly sarcastic and bitter. In my universe, Lupin and Snape were rather good friends during school… perhaps more than they'd like to admit. I hope this comes across all right in this story. **Neoma: **Thank you for your comment. I'm happy you think it was original… I was really concerned over how I'd present it, because it's been written so many other times that it's quite possible something similar exists. While it might, I have yet to run across one. The idea popped in my head one night, and I found that way of discovering so much more exciting that Lupin just straight out telling them or some of the other ways. **MissPadfoot92: **I hope you continue to read and find out the answers to the question you were asking ;)

Please, Please, **other readers who might be reading but not reviewing **review!!! I need feedback. Or just to know that someone out there is reading this story. Also, I have another story in the works, unrelated to this, **_Here At Dark Corners _**please take a look at that too. Thank you. :)


	11. Chapter Eleven

Disclaimer on first page (first chapter).

**_Oh Dreaded Night!_  
Chapter Eleven**

_I felt blood rushing out of my wound. I knew the creature was real._

_When I woke next, I found that time had passed but I had not felt it. I woke from a cold darkness that I never wanted to find myself in again. My mother sat by my bedside reading a book; the title of which I couldn't make out, but she had a very serious expression on her face unlike I've ever seen while she was reading. I called out to her and she had been frightened. The book fell to the ground and immediately she stood from her chair to be by my side. She asked how I was, but I didn't know how to answer. She asked me what hurt and I told her that everything ached._

_She embraced me, and when doing so, partially lifted me from the bed. I could hear her crying, but I couldn't see her face. "What has happened to my baby? What has happened?" She held me so tight I thought I might burst. I can't remember the last time she held me so closely. I wanted to tell her that it made me uncomfortable, but I let her hold me. I had the feeling that she had been waiting to hold me, to make sure that I was all right. "My child, my only child!" She sobbed again and I cried with her._

_I was confused. I knew that something was different. It wasn't just the aches and the trouble sleeping (once I had waken after the incident). I thought at the time that I must be very sick. But what child understands sickness? What child could possibly self-diagnose his symptoms? I wanted to ask my mother what was wrong and why she was crying. I was obviously healing from the bite and I would be back to normal very soon. Couldn't she be happy about that? But no, she looked at me the same way every time I faced her. She looked at me as if there was something horribly wrong with me. Those moments were lived in ignorant bliss. I did not know what I was becoming._

_The time came, however, that she would have to tell me. She had that look, always, as if she wanted to tell me but just didn't have the heart to. She didn't. Every time she would open her mouth, tears would stream down her face and she would break down completely. One night, she left the room and sent in my father to do the dirty work, so to speak._

_My father attempted to walk into my room bravely, but I saw him nearly break down at the sight of me. He whimpered, but muffled any more that would come from him. He had not seen me since the attack. It had only been my mother here with me up until this point. He sat at the edge of my bed, and patted my leg. He did not get any closer to me. Perhaps this is how he had to go about it. Perhaps he had to distance himself to be able to say the words to me._

_"'lo Remus."_

_"Hullo Father."_

_"Your mum tells me you are a very strong boy."_

_"I try to be. I try to be for her and for you, Father."_

_"That's a good lad. That's a very good lad, indeed. I need you to be strong for us. 'specially your mum."_

_"I will! I promise."_

_"A'right, then. I'm glad to hear you say that." He paused for a moment, clearing his throat. "Remus, can you and I talk for a moment about what happened to you last week?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Remus, what do you remember happening?"_

_"I went outside at night. I know I shouldn't have! But I wanted to go out and talk to the forest. The forest never talks back, but I thought that that night it would. It sent a wolf out to me and I thought that the wolf would be my friend. But when I saw the wolf, it wasn't a friend at all. It attacked me. I didn't do anything, though, I swear!"_

_"I know you didn't do anything, Remus. That was a bad wolf, a very bad wolf. I sent the wolf away from here after he attacked you. That wolf will never ever come back."_

_"Did you hurt the wolf?"_

_"Yes, I hurt the wolf. But, that is not your concern."_

_"Where is the wolf now, Father?"_

_"The wolf is gone from here. Remus, I need you to know something about that wolf. It wasn't an ordinary wolf."_

_"It wasn't? What was it?"_

_My father's eyes filled with tears and he struggled when he tried to start up talking again, but eventually he was able to continue. "It… it… Remus, have you ever heard the term werewolf?"_

"That's too long to be our History of Magic essay." Sirius stepped up to Lupin, breaking his concentration.

"Hum, yeah. I'm just working on…"

"Something personal, right?" Sirius watched as Lupin clumsily stashed his parchment under his pile of books.

"Yeah." Lupin admitted. He didn't like that Sirius had watched where he placed his writing.

As if Sirius read his mind, he said, "Oh, you don't have to worry. I'm not going to sneak a peek at it. I learned my lesson the last time. Although I must admit that I'm curious to know what it is you're writing. Seems to be the same thing you were working on that night in the Shack. Is it?"

"It is. It's just…" He hesitated. If he told Sirius what he was really writing then there was a chance that he would want to read it. If he read it, he might ask questions, and truth be told, Lupin was not quite ready to answer any questions about this particular time in his past. "I'm just writing a story. It's not finished though, and not really good enough to share."

"Maybe one day, then?"

"Right. Maybe."

* * *

Snape looked at the nicely wrapped box as if it were something foreign or poisonous. He placed the tips of his fingers atop the package and tapped them. "What is this, then?" He scowled at the bright green paper and the red ribbon wrapped around it.

"It's a Christmas present." Lupin grinned.

"A Christmas present? Did we agree on exchanging gifts?" The boy asked, looking frightened that he may have forgotten something.

"No. No. We didn't agree on anything. I just… I just wanted to get you something."

Snape eyed the package suspiciously again. "This isn't your idea of a prank is it? This reeks of Potter. Did he touch this? Did _he_ wrap this?"

"No, it's my own wrapping job."

"You did a fine job, then." Snape lowered his voice as if he couldn't let anyone hear him speak a compliment. "What… what is it?"

"Open it. That's the idea, I wrap the gift so you can't tell what it is when I present it to you…"

"I know what the purpose of wrapping a gift is, Lupin. I just have trouble trusting you."

"The others had nothing to do with it. They don't even know that I'm giving you a gift."

"Do you give presents out to everyone?" Snape picked up the box and leaned in towards it as he gently shook it. He placed it back on the table shortly afterwards.

"No, just to my friends."

"I'm your friend, then?"

"I don't know… are you?"

Snape looked at the package and then at Remus. "Yes. I suppose so, if you want to call it friendship."

"Let's call it friendship. Let's open your present, then."

"What about your other friends?" Snape frowned, still hesitating to open the gift.

"They are still my friends."

"Very well." The frown did not escape from Snape's face. "Well, Lupin… even though it is nice you bought this gift for me you make me feel absolutely horrible that I have nothing in return."

"How very like you to find something negative in gift giving."

"Well, how would you feel if I got you a gift and you didn't have one in return?"

"I'd feel surprised, for one thing. And I suppose I would feel weird about not having something."

"So then, we'll have to agree on gift exchanges in the future to escape any… awkward moments such as these. Agreed?"

"Gift exchanges for what then? Christmas? Birthdays?"

"That sounds about right." Snape nodded.

Lupin nodded in return. "So, we're agreed. Now, open your present!"

Snape grumbled and began to unwrap the gift. He took his time unwrapping, gently peeling the tape from the paper, making sure there were no rips or tears caused from his hands.

"Just open it! There's no need to be careful about it!"

"But you did such a nice job wrapping it…" Snape looked up at Lupin to find him with a huge smile across his face. "Very well." He huffed and continued tearing the paper apart, although Lupin could tell it nearly gave him a heart attack to have disrespect for the paper. "It's a box."

"Yes," Remus laughed, "it's a box… but you need to open it."

"All right." Snape opened the box and smiled. "Sweets!" Lupin was certain he had never seen the boy with such a large smile.

"Yes, an entire box full. Should last you through the holiday, anyway. I know you'll be staying here, so it should make your stay a bit more pleasant. You'll get treats on Christmas I'm sure, but for all the other days…"

Snape picked through the small box at the different assortment of candies. Remus had included a small block of chocolate, a pack of Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans, a few packs of Droobles Best Blowing Gum, and a few Licorice Wands.

"I don't know what to say, Lupin." The look on the boy's face confirmed that this statement was true.

"Just say you'll try to make the best of your holiday, all right?" Lupin knew that the boy would be lonely here at the school. Not a lot of students were staying over the holiday, and although Snape expressed his relief for the lack of students, Lupin knew that it would be hard on him. It would be hard on Lupin as well. Although he desperately wanted to get home, he couldn't imagine how quiet his home would be when he is there alone with his mother, no one around for miles, and the forest looking back at him, threatening him. He had already given his room mates his address to send letters, and promised each other to write, but wasn't Snape his friend, too? Remus took his quill back in his hand and wrote his address at the upper corner of the parchment. He ripped the piece off, but hesitated in giving it to Snape. He kept it in hand for the right moment to come.

"I will try." Snape looked down at the box of candies, attempting to conceal the expression on his face. "Thank you, Lupin." He reached his hand out across the table and Lupin returned his action and met the boy's hand with his in a handshake. When Snape brought his hand back, he noticed in his hand a crumpled piece of paper. He opened it, read it quickly, and looked back at Lupin.

"Send me an owl during the break. That can be your Christmas present to me, all right?"

Snape looked at the crumpled paper in the palm of his hand again, and nodded.

* * *

"Pettigrew! What is _taking_ you so long?!" Sirius called from the doorway.

"I dropped my satchel… and everything inside it."

Sirius over exaggerated a sigh. "We are going to miss the train ride out of this place if we wait for you to pick up your things!"

"You go ahead, then! But… you won't let the train leave without me, will you?" A nervous boy asked from the bedroom.

Sirius and James had already tapped into the box of candy that Lupin bought each and every one of them. James was contemplating the actual flavour of the bean he held in his hand and Sirius wiped his sleeve across his mouth, getting rid of any sign of gobbled-down chocolate. Remus almost had trouble carrying the huge block of chocolate that the boys had chipped in together to get him, but the trouble was worth it for his favorite type of sweet.

"I just might! Hurry it up, Peter!"

"We're _not_ leaving without you, Peter!" James called from the sofa.

Remus set his things down on the couch next to James and ran into the boys' room to help his friend out. When he entered the room, he witnessed Peter picking up various items that had dropped from his bag. He immediately joined Peter on the ground picking up small candies and quills and small toys.

"Thank you, so much Remus! I thought I might be here forever picking all of this up. I'm so sorry I'm holding you all back. I didn't mean to, I'm just clumsy."

"I can't tell you how many times I've done the same thing. James and Sirius won't admit to it, but they've overturned their bags more times than I have."

"Find anything interesting from it?"

"Not really. Many of the same things you have in your own bag. They never carry anything too fancy with them."

"They're giving out the last call to clear out of rooms, boys!" Sirius called out.

"We're coming!" Lupin shouted over, picking up the last item and placing it in Peter's bag. "Just be sure to tie it up." He recommended quietly to Peter.

"Thanks again, Remus."

Lupin smiled.

* * *

"I'll have the chance to look over a lot more Transfiguration books while I'm home. Those books are just waiting to be cracked open again! No one ever uses the books in the library!" James said, excitedly. In addition to the sweets he got from his friends, he purchased some Pumpkin Pasties from the cart that came by earlier for everyone. They snacked on them as the train ride proceeded, in their own private compartment.

"I should take a look at our library as well." Sirius added. "I'm sure there's something to be found; if I can sweep through all the dust and cobwebs growing on the books. I am not looking forward to going home at all. I wonder if this train goes directly back to Hogwarts… maybe I'm not too late after all."

"If you go back, you go back to _Snivellus_. He's staying over break, you know. You'd have to eat at the same table as he." James remarked.

"To tell the truth, I don't know what would be worse, sitting with a greasy git at Christmas dinner or my family. At least there's just one of him…"

"It can't be that bad, can it?" Peter asked.

"Why don't we switch families this holiday? You can find out for yourself first hand, then."

Peter frowned. "Er, no thanks. I like my family just fine."

"Countdown, one hour to go. I wonder who will be there waiting at the platform for me. I wonder if it will be anyone at all. I wouldn't be surprised if they sent someone in their place. That would be like them." Sirius scowled.

"Next time we should arrange for my parents to bring you home." James suggested.

"Oh, that would be tops! That's a brilliant idea. Your parents wouldn't mind?"

"I'm sure they wouldn't. I mean, we have to go by your home anyway. I'll ask them over the holiday and owl you to let you know. Maybe we can pick you up on the way, when we have to go back to Hogwarts."

"You don't know what trouble that would save me. I could just leave them at home and they wouldn't have to go through all the trouble of leaving the house… it's such a chore you know."

Lupin imagined Sirius' parents as angered and scowling. He imagined the Potters as much more happy people. He imagined the Pettigrews along the same lines, although it was hard to tell since Peter talked about them very little. Then, he imagined his own parents. He was looking forward to seeing their faces. It seemed like a very very long time since he saw them last, even though it had only been a couple of months. He imagined that they missed him just the same as he had missed them. He wanted so badly to hear his parent's voices as they asked him how his time away from home was going. He wanted to hug his mother and even his father, even though he was at the age where a lot of children felt awkward about such affections.

Lupin sat back and closed his eyes, even though there was only a short way to go. He listened to the other three as they described their typical Christmas day at home. They may have been curious as to his own holiday traditions, but they did not want to bother him since he appeared to be sleeping. It was these moments that he treasured most with his friends. Just hearing them talking amongst each other, with mostly positive things to say, eliminating all the hostility they might have towards something or someone else. These moments they got along the best. These moments actually held Lupin to believe that nothing could go wrong with their friendship. Moments like these, he felt like he actually belonged… even if he was faking sleep.

He must have drifted for real for a few moments, though, because before he knew it, they were arriving at platform nine and three-quarters. Before the train came to a complete stop, he opened his eyes and tried to bring himself back into the moment. He put on his coat and scarf and gloves, as did his friends, and let out a long yawn.

"Finally!" Sirius announced. "That seemed like the never ending train ride."

"It wasn't that bad." Peter disagreed.

"No, it wasn't." Lupin added.

"You were sleeping for most it!" Sirius laughed. Lupin nodded in agreement.

"That's the best way to pass the time." Lupin smiled. The train, now at the platform, opened its doors to let out the anxious students. The boys took their time walking out of the train, letting most people in their car go before them. While he waited, Lupin dug out a piece of parchment, already neatly folded and kept it in his hand, too nervous at this point to hand it over to the boy he wanted to give it to. (At least, in front of everyone else)

When they were off the train, they said their goodbyes, but not quite as sappy as he thought they might be. They said their goodbyes knowing that they would be seeing each other in a few weeks, perhaps a bit more refreshed than how they were feeling now. Peter was the first to skip off, noticing his family at the platform even before they exited the train. He seemed happy to see them. James and Sirius nearly made it off at the same time, but Lupin stopped Sirius before he went. He handed the boy the piece of parchment he had been anxiously holding.

"This is your story, then?" Sirius asked. Lupin nodded. "Thank you." he paused. He held the piece of paper up, as if letting Lupin know that he appreciated it, and smiled. "Merry Christmas, Remus." Sirius nodded and hesitantly went off to greet his parents.

"Merry Christmas, Sirius."

* * *

**A/N: **While I might consider this the end of this story, I still have more things in store for it. In other words, I have some extra things that I would like to add that go along with the story… so check back for it in the near future. **ALSO: **Chapter Ten has a few paragraphs at the end added. Originally, it was going to be the beginning of Chapter Eleven, but it didn't seem to go with the flow as much as it did with Chapter ten… so please take a look at the addition. I have another story on called _**Here at Dark Corners**_. It's separate from this story, actually. Sirius and Remus will be main characters in a story that takes place after their time at Hogwarts, but it also contains some original characters. Most people don't like original characters much, so I don't blame them for not reading it but I ask for my readers to at least give it one chance. Okay, I'm nearly begging. haha. **To my reviewers:** Thank you to those who continue to read the story and let me know that they are doing so. You are much appreciated! To those new readers, I hope you stick around through all eleven chapters. I know it's a bit to get through all in one sitting. ;) 


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